2011 OSCARS: Live Blog - 83rd Academy Awards

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00:01AM - A Whole New Day: That's it from me, I'm signing off. And we'll see you all again next year!

11.58PM - Film Idea: Queen Elizabeth II gets leg-braces, which makes her stutter -- so she enlists the help of her two secret children, Colin Firth and Hugh Grant. Nothing original or particularly exciting happens, but everybody speaks in movie-English, saying words like "Gosh" and "Bugger." Firth looks sincere, and Michael Caine has a cameo as a wise old man. All the English people learn valuable life lessons and manage to overcome their unfortunate social status'.

I'll begin writing my acceptance speech. 

11.50PM - Before the Best Film winner was announced, there was of course a montage of clips. The dialogue was all from 'The King's Speech' - as was the music. Now, if I'm one of the other nominees, and I'm sitting there awaiting the result-- I'm not going to be happy when the montage is over taken by the favorite, 'The King's Speech.' Don't you think neutrality is important in this moment? We all knew The King's Speech would win; but even so. I'd be offended. I am offended, for the other nominees. That isn't cool.

Or maybe I'm just ranting now, because the show was unbelievably boring. 

11.40PM - PS22 are so inspiring. You should check them out on YouTube. But tonight they seem flat. We should be loving it because they're kids with beautiful voices; but it's flat. The whole night was flat. But if you want some magic; go look up PS22 now, because the stuff they sing and the way they sing it is amazing. 

Sometimes the Oscars are memorable. Sometimes they're like this. It's a good reminder though -- things can be better. There's room for more of the inspiring. It has to come from somewhere. Whatever writers, directors, editors, make-up artists, sound mixers, etc, who may be reading --- there's room out there for you. Your work can make a difference. You can inspire people. 

11.38PM - The Best Film of the year is The King's Speech. Discuss.

11.30PM - Who's here? Who's with us? Say hello in the comments! Also: the 2011 BLOGGIES were today. This very blog was nominated in Best Entertainment Category, and didn't win. 

11:26PM - Best Actor. Colin Firth. 

English. Check.
Disability. Check. 
Crazy hype. Check.

11.20PM -  Jeff Bridges is presenting. Don't you just love Jeff Bridges? They should let him present the whole thing. No script, no rules, just let the dude speak.

Best Actress: Natalie Portman.

Natalie is an amazing talent. I don't think people realize. They see her as that pretty girl in 'Garden State.' This award proves she's really got game. And a baby.

11.05PM - Best Director. Tom Hooper, 'The King's Speech'. I didn't expect that. Well, I kind of did. Did he deserve it? I'm going to say no.

I don't mean that in a horrible way. 'The King's Speech' is a great movie and the general public loved it. But it's just popcorn. 'The Social Network' was a masterpiece of direction in every single frame. And the ride Danny Boyle took us on with '127 Hours' was beyond anything else this year. 

But Hooper won. Maybe Best Film will go elsewhere. 

10.55PM - That's the problem with movies. Everybody dies. Tony Curtis is dead. And now we can't ever talk to him or Jack Lemmon or Billy Wilder or Marylin Monroe about 'Some Like It Hot.' That's gone now. You think you get away with it and you think you're okay and then one day you're watching 'It's A Wonderful Life' and you're wondering where the HELL is James Stewart? You need him and you want him and you just need him to come back to visit, for like a day, but he won't do it. 

Dennis Hopper is dead. Pete Postlewaite is dead. We look up to these people to take as away from life when it gets too difficult --- and it works, but then one day, they're lost in the wind, and it leaves your heartbroken.

10.47PM - Randy Newman won Best Song. It wasn't the greatest track, it wasn't as memorable as 'You've Got A Friend In Me,' but it's the voice. It's what he means. You hear Randy Newman and it resonates somewhere deep within you. Just like when he's accepting his speech. He's talking nonsense, but we're rooting for him. That's what happens when you stick around, you weather the storm, you keep working. After you have enough experience, you just burn your way into people's hearts. It's why we loved seeing Billy Crystal and why the image of Chaplin, or Bob Hope, just makes you want to cry with happiness.
 

10.37PM - "Sitting here for my 25th Oscar ceremony. It used to be champagne and rich food but now as I get older its a bowl of Ready-Brek and coffee to keep me awake!" - Netty123, ha!

Okay-- Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law are hilarious. Downey keeps interrupting Jude's intro to moan about special effects people. I wish I was fast enough to copy down the whole routine, but it's speeding by way too quick----- maybe Sorkin penned it. 

Inception won Visual Effects.

But back to Sorkin. The Social Network won Best Editing. This is an interesting one because - whilst I agree that the editing was wonderful -- it was guided very strongly by the blueprint set down by Aaron Sorkin's screenplay. The cross-cutting lawsuits, the sharp cuts, etc; they were on the page. 

The Social Network was my favorite film of the year. But I think best editing should have gone to 127 Hours.

10.30PM - Bob Hope.

10.21PM - Best Documentary: “Inside Job” Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs. I feel bad, I've not seen any of the nominees this year. The winner makes a big statement about bankers who should be in jail. I instantly like him. I'll be watching the documentary. 

I'm still bored though. 

10.17PM - Best Documentary Short. Pee break time...
Winner: “Strangers No More” Karen Goodman and Kirk Simon.

Best Live Action Short Winner: “God of Love” Luke Matheny. First thing Luke says, "I should have got a haircut." It's the biggest laugh of the night, which shows you just how boring this is. Even worse, he'll probably get a three picture deal writing comedies for Warner Bros now. 

10.09PM - Some scoop from an anonymous commenter: "Rumours backstage - Ricky Gervais has been seen breaking in through a backdoor. Actors are beginning to look uncomfortable in their seats...." --- no worries, Christian Bale is gonna take him down. 

10.04PM - Randy Newman is a class act. He doesn't sound as good on TV as he does on CD, or in a concert. But he's a pro. His voice feels like home. Our journey with the three Toy Story films is forever intertwined with his voice. 

Isn't it just great seeing Woody and Buzz up there on the screen? 

Talking of class acts: Kevin Spacey is a pro. He knows how to present awards, even if his Bill Clinton impression at the BAFTA's was a bit bizarre. 

09.59PM - Best Make-Up: “The Wolfman” Rick Baker and Dave Elsey. And I hope you guys don't mind me saying--- I'm really bored! James Franco and Anne Hathaway are lovely, but then them have a rest--- and bring on Ricky Gervais and Kirk Douglas. Whadd'ya say? 

Meanwhile, the Oscar for Costume Design goes to Colleen Atwood for  “Alice in Wonderland”

Unfortunately, Colleen also picked up a special award: Most Boring Acceptance Speech of All Time.

09:53PM - Sound Mixing: Inception. Sound Editing: Inception.

09.44PM - Best Original Score: Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, 'The Social Network' - VERY MUCH DESERVED.

09.41PM - They just showed a clip of Chaplin. Now I'm loving these Oscars. Chaplin. Wow. They don't make 'em like that anymore do that? Charlie Chaplin was magic. As soon as these awards are over I'm watching some Chaplin, I don't care that it'll be 7am over here. 

Now we have an orchestra playing E.T. I missed the intro, I turn off when I hear Nicole Kidman speak -- so I don't know what's going on----- but a Chaplin clip followed by E.T. music? Magic. 

And now for Best Original Score. I'm going to call this before it's announced. THE SOCIAL NETWORK. 

Let's see..

09.38PM - Anyone else a bit bored? Maybe we need Ricky Gervais afterall. Any thoughts? 

09.33PM - Best Supporting Actor - Christian Bale or Geoffrey Rush? 

Christian Bale. The Fighter.

A Christian Bale speech is like an Adam Sandler movie. Everything is going along fine, but you're waiting for him to get angry and go crazy. Well, Sandler didn't do it in his last movie, so Bale, in turn, stayed calm for this one. A deserved award. The King's Speech cast and team, however, are baffled. They bribed the wrong person. 


9.29PM - "In A Better World" wins Best Foreign Film. I've not seen it, have any of you? I love Danish films -- I'll be checking it out!

9.20PM - Best Original Screenplay. The Academy Award goes to  David Seidler for 'The King's Speech.' So here it all begins. Let's hope some other films get a look in. Did he deserve this award? Who knows. It was an enjoyable screenplay but it wasn't a masterpiece.

But then again, it seems, 'The King's Speech' captured people's hearts, and that's a good thing.

9.16PM YES! It had to be. Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network. His first academy award. Long overdue. One of the best screenplays I've ever read. This guy is close to a hero to me. He said "I'd do this for three," no you wouldn't, Aaron, but we like the sentiment. 

His speech was pretty good, although I wish Sam Seaborn and Toby Ziegler had penned a few lines...

9.08PM - Best Animated Feature Film goes to TOY STORY 3. It had to be, right? Fully deserved. A wonderful movie. When a film gets my parents to visit the cinema, you know it's something special. TOY STORY 3 captured the hearts of all of us. "To my Grandmother who always insisted she'd see me up here one day."

9.05PM - Best Animated Short goes to “The Lost Thing”, by Shaun Tan and Andrew Ruhemann. Nobody watching cares about this; but for these guys, it's the greatest moment of their lives. They seem like great guys; let's hope they have a big future in the industry. 

8.57PM - "She's gorgeous. Wow! Where were you when I was making pictures?" -Kirk Douglas, on Anne Hathaway. Wonderful. After the nominations for best supporting actress, Kirk puts on a bit of a show, ad-libbing some jokes and milking the moment. But it's wonderful. He has so much presence. You suddenly wish he was shooting more movies. 

He holds off announcing award... everyone is laughing, and the actresses look nervous. Melissa Leo wins. She looks ready to have a heart-attack. She's overwhelmed. She's standing next to Kirk Fucking Douglas. Amazing moment. This is why we watch the Oscars.

8.48PM - Wally Pfister, Inception, Best Cinematography. It's deserved -- I didn't love the movie as much as everyone else, but it was shot beautifully, no-one can deny that. 


8.46PM - Tom Hanks is the Oscars. Tom Hanks is the movies. Even when he just says the names of films, I get excited. First Award: Art Direction, "Alice In Wonderland" - Production Design: Robert Stromberg; Set Decoration: Karen O'Hara. "The King's Speech" producers look at each other, confused. 

8.38PM - "Tell the Winklevoss' to stop giving me the stinkeye!" -- the opening sketch get's people laughing. Hathaway and Franco work their way through all the big movies of the year, with a perfect cameo by Morgan Freeman. This sketch alone is funnier than 'Cop Out' and 'Hot Tub Time Machine' combined.

8.31PM - Here we go. Before we get into it let me say, the movie I loved this year was The Social Network. The King's Speech was not a big deal for me but I do think Colin Firth was pretty solid. I'm just remembering though that it's 127 Hours that had the biggest effect on me. Anyways, awards time.

8.27PM - "There's nothing like it." 
-Tom Hanks.
I like that guy. 

8.11pm - The Social Network or The King's Speech? Place your bets now in the comments or forever hold your peace. Of all the people who choose the right movie, I will choose one of you at random and send you............. *looks for film related thing*... I will send you, an Alan Alda autobiography. You know you want it. Answer quickly, the competition closes as soon as the next update comes..

8.04pm - Some actors love acting, and some actors love that they look like they love acting. It's interesting to spot the difference.

7.40pm - Scarlett is on the red carpet. I've always love this part of the Oscars.

7.36PM - I am here. Just not so into the red carpet thing. I hear there'll be awards at some point.

7.09PM - Jesse Eisenberg looks genuinely overwhelmed. I like him. Shame he won't win. His performance was great, but as Colin Firth knows too well - Stuttering outranks autistic.

6.56PM - I can't wait to hear this on the red carpet. "Um, Banksy, what -- errr, what are you wearing?"

6.43PM - The TV Presenters seem very interested in what everyone is wearing. Thanks for asking! I'm wearing Adidas tracksuit pants that I've had since I was 11 (they're small, but comfortable), and an old brown top that is as fashionable now as it was when I bought it which is not at all. What are you all wearing?

So, here we go. I'm going to be stuttering my way with true grit through the next 127 hours (that's how it feels) with the grace of a ballerina, bringing you updates of everything that happens. I'm in the UK, I'm going to be here until 6 or 7am (UK time) but I'm a fighter, I'll stick it out. If I do fall asleep, I'll continue blogging from my 4th of 5th level of dreaming. I am also developing a new website during the ceremony, called Gervaissmash.com, where nominees can decide who looks better; Gervais or dead farmyard animals. 

Turn off your social networks and make sure your toys are asleep. Enjoy the show, it's going to be biutiful!

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