She was crazy pretty, and it only just occurred to me how big a role she may have played in my life.
I was in a job just north of Charing Cross and just south of interesting and everything was misery apart from lunch time and home time. Everything was nothing and then one day this crazy pretty girl landed on the reception desk.
She was wildly pretty and totally lovely so I confidently and calmly stumbled into the reception area and mumbled something about hello and some joke that backfired and made me walk out never to return again.
But I came back because she was magnificent and I said something closer to hello and before long I'd always sneak away from doing nothing and we'd sit in reception talking about everything.
She was an actress, and I was mad in love. I asked her everything and she liked me because she could see I was one of her kind. She was approaching thirty and I was still stalling at seventeen, and everything she said smelled like life. She had a big project coming out and I was excited because I was unexpectedly behind the curtain, in the know. Then, quicker than a Covent Garden mugging, she was gone. Apparently she had some acting job and life for me went back to nothing.
It was either a Tuesday or Friday or some other day when my life got great again. She was sitting there, so beautiful it was as if she knew she'd be blogged about years later. We talked and talked and they kept calling me back to do nothing but I was too busy in reception talking about everything.
At some point I mumbled something about wanting to be in movies and she said this thing I'd never heard that was like "you should" but far prettier. It was an instant permission slip to follow my big dreams and I may be exaggerating but maybe I left the job two weeks later and decided to be myself instead.
Do I make films because I love the cinema or because I'm in love with the movie star girl?
It doesn't matter. I just wanted to share this story because it was so close to the edge of forgotten until it suddenly and randomly popped up in my head about twenty five minutes ago. I wonder how she is. I wonder if she remembers me at all.
Now that's a story everyone can relate to: a chance, chimerical encounter. It seems so trivial at first, being unaware that it could be what would catapult our lives into its current direction. Not that I was ever sexually interested, but there was a woman who inspired me to become a violinist. I was in 6th grade. middle school orchestras were always in such a deplorable state... scratchy violins and all. However there was that one 8th grader who far superseded everyone, even the teacher. She was a serious pupil of music. At first glance, she was like any inconspicuous, demure girl. But when she picked up her violin, and voiced through sound whatever she felt... god what an indescribable feeling! Just listening to her made me want to pick up the violin, and impress others as she did; to eloquently voice through music what I can't with words. Now as a high school senior, I'm ready to go to a conservatory and actualizing my full potential in violin. Who knew that a flitting, transient moment could set the trajectory for the rest of our lives? Who knew... who knew...
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for the digression, but I really enjoyed this post. It made me nostalgic.
Oh my gosh, that's exactly how I would described my last job. Minus the crazy pretty girl.
ReplyDeleteI am guessing that you made an indelible impression, and that she's still wishing for those Tuesdays or Fridays or some other days back.
Great story, I'm glad you remembered it.
ReplyDeleteI know that my writing ambitions started with one girl...and restarted in earnest with another. And I know I meant little -- if anything -- to either one, but it didn't stop me from being inspired and motivated by them.
It's funny how a truly special girl can take over your soul for a short time (or in my case a painfully long time) and just when you've all but forgotten about her...something brings you back to that moment in your life when she meant absolutely everything.
Loved reading a little part of you. Thank you. I think you're swell.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing, that brought back a few long gone memories of meetings in the past, nice =)
ReplyDeleteIt's wonderful when you make a connection with someone like that. When I worked in a video shop part time for a couple of years back in the late 80s I had a moment like that. Magical.
ReplyDeleteWonderfully written. Why don't you try to find her and tell her how much impact she had on your life?
ReplyDeleteLEILA - Thanks so much for sharing your own story, wonderful! :)
ReplyDeleteJAYNE - I probably don't register on her radar.
INSOMNIAC - Yes, I think us guys are all the same. Pathetic, eh?
LUCKY - Thank you!! :)
ANNA - You should write about those memories!
HAPPY FROG - I miss all the video shops :( RIP.
ANITA - Thanks!
STARLIGHT - Thanks! I could get in touch. We'll see.
That was rather lovely.
ReplyDeleteIt was beautiful, and reminds me of my own story except it was not love it was an instant friendship with a girl that i had who i first regretted sitting next to on the train, but as i opened up i now wish i could talk to her again, its those moments that you have a sudden connection and you want to see them again but you don't know how that often inspire the greatest love stories, at least for me they do XD
ReplyDeleteThat was a really great "Where It All Started"-type post!
ReplyDelete