Texting Tom

Eight years ago I met Tom, when I was casting a film. I disliked him immediately but we ended up great friends.

At least I thought we did.

But then I realised I haven't seen him in three years.

Although we text nearly every day.

Our texts are completely nonsensical; and are comprised almost entirely, and randomly -- out of quotes from 'Forrest Gump', 'The Cable Guy', 'Groundhog Day' and 'You've Got Mail'. It's something like this.

KID

Do you think we should meet? 

TOM

You're a very nice guy, but I just don't have any room in my life for a new friend. Okay?  

KID

But I'm in the all America ping pong team.

TOM

Is there someone else? Oh! That woman on television, Sidney-Ann!!!

KID 

F-O-X

TOM 

Needlenose Ned?

KID

Ned the head? Ned Ryerson? Needlenose Ned? F-O-X? 

TOM 

It's the cable guy.

KID 

You like boats, but not the ocean.

TOM 

I never made a slam dunk before. Thanks for the boost. Racoons. 

KID 

Those must be comfortable shoes. You can sit here if you want to.

TOM

Jenny?

KID 

Momma, what's vacation?

TOM 

F-O-X

KID

Do you think we should meet? 

TOM

You're going down Red Knight! Down, down, down., Red Knight's goin' down. Down, down, down, Red Knight goin' down.

KID

You off to see the groundhog?

TOM

Nancy?

KID

That kid may be the stupidest son of a bitch I've ever seen, but he sure is fast! 

TOM 

Yes Drill Sargeant. 

I often find myself distracted from writing, or reaching for my phone during meetings, or even waking up in the middle of the night---- purely to add to our ongoing masterpiece of quotexts. I think it's because Lieutenant Dan was always getting these funny feelings about a rock or a trail or the road, so he'd tell us to get down, shut up. And what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.

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