The hardest thing of all, is writing what's really in your heart. It's usually that very thing that makes you bolt it towards your laptop, desperate to capture in a bottle the spark of yourself that you just figured out.
But when you get there, a little something dies every time, and it blurs into ideas of stories and characters and meanings and somehow, you just lose something.
But the films you love, that you REALLY love, the ones that you cried yourself to sleep over when someone left you or when you felt all alone or when your friend died; you know those movies? The reason they resonate with you was because someone thumped their heart down on a page, or into a scene; and you saw them, you truly saw THEM ---- and because of that, you saw you. You saw your heart and soul smashed down on a page and rolled out on a screen and dumped in front of you.
But when you get there, a little something dies every time, and it blurs into ideas of stories and characters and meanings and somehow, you just lose something.
But the films you love, that you REALLY love, the ones that you cried yourself to sleep over when someone left you or when you felt all alone or when your friend died; you know those movies? The reason they resonate with you was because someone thumped their heart down on a page, or into a scene; and you saw them, you truly saw THEM ---- and because of that, you saw you. You saw your heart and soul smashed down on a page and rolled out on a screen and dumped in front of you.
But getting to those heights with your own work is the toughest thing of all. Because you tell yourself it's always too cheesy, or too personal, or too emotional, or too esoteric, or too much of a blur inside your brain.
The things you know and feel the most, the things you are so DESPERATE to say; despite the fact you know them with such definiteness and clarity -- despite that, when it comes to it; it seems you hardly know them at all. The very core of you you are, when it comes to chucking it out onto the page, it becomes a blur, a something, a speck of dust in a room of old books. Writing and directing and acting, they're all looking for that one piece of truth, yet the distractions are abundant everywhere we look. We always find a way to obscure it, to over-complicate it, to miss it.
The things you know and feel the most, the things you are so DESPERATE to say; despite the fact you know them with such definiteness and clarity -- despite that, when it comes to it; it seems you hardly know them at all. The very core of you you are, when it comes to chucking it out onto the page, it becomes a blur, a something, a speck of dust in a room of old books. Writing and directing and acting, they're all looking for that one piece of truth, yet the distractions are abundant everywhere we look. We always find a way to obscure it, to over-complicate it, to miss it.
Too true.
ReplyDeleteWell said.
ReplyDeleteYou seem to do a good job to me and this post is a perfect example.
ReplyDeleteI only wish I had half your creativity and eloquence.
I agree with Paul S, I always feel when I read your posts that you are writing from your heart. I know what you mean though, sometimes you can feel something so important but it is almost impossible to put it into words. I saw what for me was the most significant piece of television I have ever seen and am likely to ever see in my life yesterday and I know it will haunt me forever. But I can't explain how I feel in words, however much I try to. The message gets diluted even though the vision of it remains so strong in my mind.
ReplyDeleteI agree with those above. You always write from the heart. And most of your posts are perfect examples of what you're talking about. I wish my blog was like yours and I wrote powerful stuff I felt inside me. But whenever I try it sounds cliche or forced or just rubbish. Lots of us know how difficult it is to capture that something that is true. Lots of us have tried to say it. But when you say it it really hits home. Thank you as usual for saying what I don't have the balls to put into words
ReplyDeleteFull marks for creativity.
ReplyDeleteThanks
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Roger