Final Scene From My New Screenplay

I was just about to put the finishing touches to my new screenplay, a heartfelt rom-com, when my lead male charcter, Eric, forgot he was in a rom-com and suddenly thought he was in the middle of an action film where he had to relieve the NYPD of their duties.

What follows is the dialogue from the final scene.

ABBY

I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. 

ERIC

Me too, you're my whole world. 

ABBY

Let's go and live in the mountains and have children together. 

ERIC

What's this? 

ABBY

What's what?

 ERIC

Why did you let them on the scene? Where's Maddox?

ABBY

What do you mean? I'm saying that we should start a family together. 

ERIC

You can go home now, we've got it from here. 

ABBY

Who's got what?

ERIC 

FBI. This is our jurisdiction. Get outta here. 

ABBY

Eric; you're confusing me. I love you -- 

ERIC 

Yeah yeah, I get it. Six murders in three weeks and you think I'm gonna leave you alone with the body? Give me a break, Jones. 

ABBY

Eric; you're scaring me. 

ERIC 

Scaring you, Jones?

ABBY

Ohhhh, I get it. You want to call our first kids Maddox and Jones. I could get used to that. 

ERIC

Two sugars. 

ABBY

What?

ERIC

In my coffee. Two sugars, thanks.

ABBY

But you don't drink coffee. 

ERIC 

Two sugars and call Maddox, Jones. 

ABBY

This is the final scene of a rom-com, what is wrong with you?

ERIC 

Do I look like someone who'd be in a rom-com to you? Would I be chewing gum like this if it was the final scene of a rom-com?  Would I be carrying a gun?

ABBY

You don't have a gun.

ERIC

Listen, Kid. You're a good cop, but I've been on this job for 36 years. 

ABBY

You're 23. 

ERIC 

What Jones? 

ABBY

You're 23.

ERIC
Don't mess with me.

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