Gone European Girl

It was some years ago. I entered my hostel room somewhere in Sicily, and the prettiest girl you've ever seen turned around and lit up my world instantly.

In an unusual moment of confidence I demanded we go for a walk. She agreed and we did one of those walks where you take a left over the hill and learn all about each others childhoods and dreams before you come down the other side.

She was fascinated by the film stuff. And she seemed to get it in the way you always hope someone will get it.  
So we're in the hostel and she introduces me to some other girl and they get all giggly and crazy about the fact I make films. So I offer to show them something. They get all excited and sit on the bed waiting patiently and I suddenly realise this is my scariest audience ever.

And they're both German. And I freak because someone told me Germans don't get English comedy. And what if they don't understand the dialogue? And what if I'm the worst director ever?

I sit against the wall watching these two girls watch my film on my phone and I begin to freak out.

But then they laugh. SHE gets it. She laughs big and she chuckles at the subtle bits. No-one ever gets the subtle bits. My heart flew up high into the European night and I went to sleep wondering like crazy how this little angelic thing was staying in the same room as me.

The next day I'm busy. The day after she's busy. And that night she's down in the bar talking to some dude with a beard and my brain and heart get strangled and murdered dead cold and it's silly o'clock in the morning and you realise that she's somewhere else with some other guy.

Great moments are like movies. They're illusions, brief moments of bliss in between the harsh realities.

She liked my film for fifteen minutes and liked my company for five hours in the beautiful Sicilian village.

But she was caught up in some guy from the bar and I was all strangled and sad.

She left one morning at 5am with a note saying she enjoyed my films and meeting me. She slipped out past the heavy metal door without keeping to 5am sound etiquette. Not that I cared, because I was already awake, watching her leave, knowing I'd never see her again.