Thoughts From 3.43am

It was my phone network that set me off, limiting data usage so I have to spend more money to be able to check my emails. It used to be free and unlimited until they changed it to make more money.

And I guess that's how everything goes. Everything is packaged and sold. One moment you're a kid making movies and a minute later everyone wants to know how you'll monetize it. Are you making a living? Did they pay you? Have you sold a script yet?

I get it. I live in London, afterall. Here petrol prices are more, food costs more, houses cost more. No reason for it except that it does because that's how the UK is. And we need our iPads and Xbox's too.

Art is an attempt to bring meaning to all the greed and fraud we see around us and inside ourselves. People don't value things unless they've turned a profit. Everyone is being taught how to write a script that sells, or how to brand yourself as an actor. I got that question from an actress yesterday, "How should I brand myself?" What does it even mean? When did being yourself become not enough?

The banking crisis proves how insane the world is. But rather than delve into the heart of the corruption and power abuse, we just moan about how the protesters are making a mess and annoying the neighbours.

We can't blame 'them' though. It's us too. I watched 'Pearl Jam Twenty' today, reminded me how supportive and nurturing the Seattle music scene was. I think of the film industry and it's just a bunch of clueless people running around wondering where the opportunities are. And if you can't find them don't worry there's a £800 two day seminar in how to succeed in the industry.

I'm realising more and more that my favorite bits of art are the tiniest of things. Little accidental mistakes in songs and quiet subtle scenes in movies.

We've lost the ability to be small. We need not be afraid to go back there.

And 'X Factor' is so retarded it's unreal. Parading people around on TV promising fame as if it's a good thing. Turn these talented kids into free thinking artists, don't write them crappy radio songs then flush them down the toilet a year later.

Come the end of the road, money and fame mean very little. Maybe there's another way. Maybe we can do better at supporting each others work. Maybe we don't need the studios in order to distribute our movies. Maybe we can reconnect with the smaller things, the little mistakes and desperate attempts and taped up failures which make art art.

I can't make phone calls without the phone company. But I can control my art.

Create something without thinking of where it will lead your career. Work on a peace of art that isn't about forwarding your career. Focus on something that you've wanted to do but have deemed too worthless.