HOME ALONE WTF With My Friend Carl

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
I'm eating. Carl is eating. Craig is playing a game on his iPhone, oblivious to everything. 

CARL 

Did you see 'Home Alone' the other night? 

KID

It was on TV? 

CARL

Yeah. The first and the second film. 

KID

It's too early. 

CARL 

Definitely too early. 

KID 

What the hell were they thinking? 

CARL 

I know. 

KID 

They do this every year. Everyone knows 'Home Alone' should be on TV about four days before Christmas. 

CARL 

Not in November. 

KID 

Never in November. 

CARL

Who are the people who schedule TV shows, do you know them?

KID 

I don't know them. I don't know anyone who thinks 'Home Alone' should be shown in November. 

CARL 

Same here. 

KID

They've ruined Christmas. 

CARL 

They've ruined Christmas. 

KID 

Home Alone should be shown four days before Christmas. 

CARL

What about Christmas eve? 

KID 

I have no problem with Christmas eve. You know what I have a problem with?

CARL 

The bird woman. 

KID

Nobody likes the bird woman. We have New York City, why do we need the bird woman? 

CARL 

They should screen the bird-woman parts in November and everything else in December, four days before Christmas. 

KID 

You know what else they should have in the second film?

CARL

What? 

KID

Fuller drinking Pepsi. 

CARL 

Definitely. 

KID 

I don't feel I can enjoy Christmas this year. 

CARL 

You don't even watch it on TV, you have it on DVD.

KID 

I only have it because the TV people keep messing it up.

CARL 

But why do you care? 

KID 

Because you don't show it in November. It's the rule. Everybody knows the rule. 

The 'Home Alone Conversation' is something that seems to happen every year. Read the one from last year here.