The Nuclear Bomb: Intercepted Conversation Between IRAN and USA

AMERICA
You must not develop a nuclear bomb.

IRAN
Why?

AMERICA
They are bad. The world should be free of nuclear weapons.

IRAN
But you have some.

AMERICA
We believe in peace.

IRAN
How many millions of people are dead in Iraq?

AMERICA
Millions of people are dead all over the world.

IRAN
What's your point?

AMERICA
We don't need nukes to kill people and neither do you.

IRAN
If you have a bomb then I want a bomb.

AMERICA
No. We don't trust you.

IRAN
We don't trust you.

AMERICA
We believe in world peace.

IRAN
Really?

AMERICA
And democracy.

IRAN
Really?

AMERICA
You will not build a bomb. If you build the bomb we will bomb you or at least impose sanctions.

IRAN
And what happens after the sanctions?

AMERICA
We bomb you.

IRAN
With what?

AMERICA
Bombs.

IRAN
Nuclear bombs?

AMERICA
We don't use nuclear bombs. We only have nuclear bombs in case other people have nuclear bombs. That's why we built the Nuke in the 1940's.

IRAN
Why was that?

AMERICA
Because we feared Germany would build the nuke.

IRAN
Did they build the nuke?

AMERICA
No.

IRAN
So what did you do?

AMERICA
Bombed Japan.

IRAN
We're building the nuke.

AMERICA
No.

IRAN
Okay, we won't.

AMERICA
Huh?

IRAN
We won't build a nuke.

AMERICA
Oh. Maybe you should.

IRAN
Why?

AMERICA
Because then we have a reason to bomb you.

IRAN
Okay, we'll think about it.