THE WOMAN IN BLACK Script Pitch Meeting

The WOMEN IN BLACK pitch meeting.

WRITER

I have an idea.

EXEC

Fire away.

WRITER

A man walks around a haunted house.

EXEC

Okay...

WRITER

What do you think?

EXEC

I like it. Carry on.

WRITER

What do you mean?

EXEC

Continue your pitch.

WRITER

That's it. A man walks around a haunted house.

EXEC

Will anything else happen?

WRITER

No.

EXEC

You want us to make a piece of pointless garbage?

WRITER

How is that different to usual?

EXEC

We cover it up by attaching stars.

WRITER

You could use the Harry Potter guy.

EXEC

He's about 15.

WRITER

We can make him look a little bit older.

EXEC

How?

WRITER

Give him a tiny bit of facial hair.

EXEC

I'm not sure he's capable of that. I'll call the special effects guys.

WRITER

We could also give him a kid.

EXEC

I'd rather just pay him money like usual.

WRITER

I mean his character could have a kid, it will make him seem older.

EXEC

This totally changes your idea.

WRITER

How's this: a manboy has a child. He goes to a haunted house and walks around for a while. The End.

EXEC

I'm greenlighting this. 

PLEASE NOTE: This dialogue is of course fictional, and the film is actually an adaptation of a book, where I assume a character who looked a lot like Harry Potter walked around a haunted house for 300 pages or so and then it ended.