My Film Blog

It was a sudden idea. I was on the train, bored. I decided to start a film blog. A place where I could put my passions down on the page. It wouldn't be about me. It had nothing to do with advertising myself, or career advancement. It was just a place to scream about the things I love.

I needed a name for it. It came quickly to my mind; "KID IN THE FRONT ROW!". I loved it. Creativity is always a rush to me, never a slow burn. The idea hits immediately, and I have to act on it. If it's inspiration for a tweet, great! A thought lasts roughly as long as a tweet. But a feature film? The idea is a thunderbolt but the execution can't be done in one sitting. Anyway, the blog name came to me out of nowhere. But surely it was already being used? When I got home, I googled it, I looked around. It was a phrase that had seemingly never been used, even though surely it's a phrase that people use all the time?

It was Blogger or Wordpress. How to decide? I knew nothing, and went with Blogger, probably because I knew nothing. It's mostly been good to me, apart from the fact that the thing you type in the formatting box looks absolutely nothing like what ends up on the website. The hardest part about blogging is making the paragraphs not look like a car wreck.

Today I've been cleaning up old posts -- deleting links that don't work, videos that won't load, and getting rid of spam comments. Seeing all the comments from years gone by was like visiting old friends. Someone called Anna had left comments on 25 different posts -- yet when I clicked through to her link, it didn't exist anymore. Did she delete her blog? Is she still alive? Is she happy?

That's the weird thing about communities such as this. Some of you I see commenting nearly every day, but what do I know about you? And what do you know about me? I'm anonymous! We get so close yet somehow, keep a huge distance.

And I saw names in the comments of people who I've fallen out with. What did we argue about? I have no idea. Looking back, it seems ridiculous; how can anyone have a disagreement over a blog? Life happens here like it happens everywhere else. There are people who are jealous of my blog, and there are blogs I have been jealous of. There are friends I made who used to email and comment all the time; and now they're nowhere to be seen. Did they forget this place? Did I forget them, not give them the attention they deserved?

It's just a blog. Sometimes you feel like you're just writing to yourself. Other times you realise that people come here because it means something to them. That's a powerful thing, it's a responsibility. It's why I care so much. You realise after a while that your blog is as much about you as everything else you do.

I spent most of today checking out the websites and blogs of people who have left comments here over the past three and a half years. There have been over 5000 comments on this blog, so I couldn't get to them all. But 5000!? Wow. Isn't the internet fantastic? So much communication, so many ideas shared.


Looking back at my writing: some of it is inspired! Some of it I would happily delete. But it is what it is; and you just have to keep going and going and writing and writing, because that's what blogging is. Some of you are reading me right now for the first time, some for the hundredth. Some of you are regulars now but some day soon you might not be. I'd like you to stick around but it's out of my control. I'm just glad that, for whatever journey you're on right now; a part of it involves coming here. 

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