Yo Screenwriters, Don't Forget!

The Kid In The Front Row Screenwriting Competition -- it's time to stop surfing Facebook and GET WRITING.

Details here: http://kidinthefrontrow.blogspot.com/2009/11/kid-in-front-row-online-screenwriting.html

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Something That All Young Actresses Should Be Aware Of

There are a lot of pretty women in the world, and there are lots of guys who are terrible at interacting with them. This is obvious, of course. Years of loneliness and bitterness and other factors can lead a man to go a bit odd. A bit desperate. You know how it goes. I mean, you girls reading this probably think it describes 300 of your Facebook friends. Luckily, women can spot a weirdo a mile off. Except for in one situation - where various factors come into play.

There is one magic way to meet women. And not just any women, but the most beautiful women you could find. It's a very simple sentence, "I'm casting a movie." This weird piece of phenomena hit me the very first time I cast a film - and it seemed crazy to me. Here is a guy who rarely gets to speak to those wonderous beautiful ones - and suddenly, I can meet ten of them in a day, and they are all desperate for work.

The worrying thing is that many guys reading this are probably thinking "cool idea!" but herein lies the problem - nearly every actress I know has a story about a 'Director' who met them about a project, didn't have a script, and had some little project with 'artistic nudity' - and for me, and luckily most men in this business, we can see it for what it is. I guess we can recognize it in ourselves in some ways - how easy it is to interact with the beautiful people by making a movie.

So here's the thing - when you're a 22 year old actress with limited film credits and you meet some man who says he "worked with Altman in the 80's," your hope begins to grow that this project will help you in some way. You justify it by thinking that there's nothing wrong with nudity if it's artistic, and when the filmmaker keeps delaying the script you tell yourself it's okay, it's an experimental movie.

I'm a Writer/Director. When I cast a project I give all actors the script. They can Google me and see my work, articles about me, if they really want they can add me on Facebook, the work I do is completely justified. I've never shot nudity - but if I did, I'd tell the actors who's shooting it, where, I'd give them freedom to do whatever it takes to make the experience a comfortable one - it would be completely transparent, like everything I do in filmmaking.

Yet these filmmakers who are doing Arthouse films with 'brief nudity' tend to be elusive, mysterious figures, who never quite have a script ready-- and often want to meet up with the actress to discuss the project. Alarm bells for all of us, I'm sure-- but for an actor in the moment, it's easy to get caught up in thinking there's a good experience to be had.

Just the other day I was talking to an actress about this, an actress who is one of the most beautiful people I know - and I'm fully aware that, if I was an accountant, I'd never really interact with someone who looks like her. That feels creepy to even say, but it's the strange thing about this industry. Luckily, I'm a good guy, and her looks aren't an important part of our friendship, but I'm aware of it. And I'm aware that men are men. All the perversion and weird thoughts are going to be in the film industry as much as in the streets, or on Craigslist.

And I just want to bring awareness to this issue. And I want young actresses to know they are talented, beautiful people who should be doing exciting short films, immersing themselves in plays and meeting directors and producers who inspire them. If you meet a Director who gives you the ick, don't work for them. Whatever opportunity they offer can be found elsewhere in a less creepy way. And here's another common one - the innapropriate comment on the first meeting. If some 'Director' makes a comment about your breasts that makes you uncomfortable, get out of there, you don't need this experience. If the director had made that comment about an actors penis, they'd get thumped in the head.

I find it very hard to comprehend why a filmmaker's first short film would require nudity, there are so many other things to explore. Keep your clothes on, save the nudity for your boyfriend, or for the Hollywood film that pays you $10million.

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A Story - Written In Five Minutes By Two People With Writers Block

Here's a bit of fun. Tonight I was working on a feature film screenplay but had hit a bit of a wall - and my friend Anna was writing an essay for her class about an artist, and was similarly struggling for words. So, we put down our laptops and reached for some paper. My idea was that we write a sentence each, and the other one has to follow it - and so on-- and the story could only be a page long.

And we weren't allowed to spend time thinking, it literally had to flow immediately. So here it is. I began with the first sentence, in blue. Everything in red is Anna.

Once upon a time just south of New York, Mike was planning a party. The Party was to be a costume party, and he had put months into his own outfit. "I look nothing like Batman" cried his friend, Jed. "I don't know why I thought this full body spandex was a good idea!" he said.

Three hours passed, and Mike wondered where all the girls were. Then he realized that the strange group of bearded dwarves in the corner were actually his good friends Jess, Tina, Barbara and Kim. Suddenly, Jed remembered that he had to get to church. He wouldn't have time to change out of the spandex, but he did happen to have a bible with him. Mike again reminded Jed that there is no God, and no church as it burned down during the great fire of 1973, in which 47 funeral attendees caught on fire.

"I am tired of all your random history facts Mike," Jess said. "Fuck you," replied Jed, who then reminded everybody that World War 2 was won by the Jamaicans. "You have no fucking idea what you're talking about man, and for that you are the one who is going to Church now" said Barbara, "the rest of us are going skinny dipping."

Unfortunately, since the fire, local safety regulations had been tightened - and dwarves were not entitled to go near the water. Good thing they were only dwarf costumes, and they went skinny dipping.

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The Kid In The Front Row Online Screenwriting Festival 2009

Welcome to the FIRST Annual Kid In The Front Row Online Screenwriting Festival.

It's only small, but it's a great chance to pit your skills against other exciting, upcoming screenwriters - and you have the chance of winning THREE different awards. The rules of this are probably a little bit different to what you've experienced before. But it's a way of keeping it fun, challenging, and unique.

This year's challenge:

• Your script must be no more than 5 pages long (6 including the cover page)
  
• The entire film is set in one place - the kitchen.
  
• You must use industry standard formatting.
  
• There are three characters: Anna, Mike and Hank.
  
• Anna wants something from Mike, but there's no way Mike is giving it away.

That's your brief. You can only use those three characters - and at some point, Anna is going to need something from Mike that he won't be giving (it could be sex, a monkey, a wedding ring, who knows, it's up to you!)

Be creative, be imaginative, be daring, and get your script in by December 2nd 2009.

By submitting you agree for your screenplay to be shared with readers of the KITFW blog. I will read every script sent to me.

There will be three awards:

Best Screenplay
Funniest Screenplay
Most Original Screenplay

(note: Just because their is a 'funniest' category, the script doesn't have to be comedy)

Entry is free, although you are welcome to make a donation via the PayPal on the left hand side of this blog -- that way I could treat myself to an ice cream whilst reading through all the scripts, and maybe get a nice award for the Best Screenplay winner.

Please share the competition around. The more people who enter, the more prestigious it is. Would you rather be the best out of 3 scripts or out of 30?

Any questions, please contact me via email, or pop a question in the comments.

(if you have never written a screenplay before - this is a great opportunity to try)

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Question Of The Day

DID ANYONE ORDER ME A PLAIN CHEESE??????

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