Have you been in anything I would have seen? Are you a millionaire yet?
This is a giant pressure on the back of someone trying to make it in the arts. It's my theory that, anyone who hasn't 'made it' in the Spielberg-called-and-offered-you-a-million sense is rarely going to find time to relax. Ever.
You might sit down to watch a movie. But you only allow yourself to do it because it's helpful to your career. Even if you sit down for a glass of wine, your mind says Do you have any script ideas? Are you calling that producer tomorrow? Don't you need more money? What if Dad asks 'how is work?'
And you never really relax. Your body might, occasionally, be quite still - but you keep chugging away. When your body stops running around for the day, your mind keeps going.
I've also found that most people have a body symptom which represents this. Might be a nervous twitch, or a constant headache. It's something that says "hey, you're not taking care of yourself."
We all fight to make it in this industry. We work hard. And when we don't work, we're still on the go-- defending ourselves to people and plotting career paths.
Just yesterday, during a meal, I was telling my friends a funny story about when I went to the cinema with a friend the other day; and right in the middle of the story a guy who is one of my best friends stopped me and said "Hold on, you went to see a film in the middle of the day?". The meaning of course being, "hold on, I work 9-5 every day and work really hard and you just float around and work 1 hour a month?" -- The defences go up, you're under attack. You deal with it. And then you have a toothache, or a headache, or something-- some little part of you that holds in all the crap that just needs to be released and would be released if you would JUST RELAX.
In terms of success in our industry, and doing it healthily - I really think you need to prescribe some TRUE RELAXATION.
There is a collective pressure from everyone around you to live in the way society expects, to go out, earn your money, pay your bills. That is not quite how it works for people with the artistic sensibility.
You need to go to the cinema.
You need to spend a day scribbling.
You need to spend a day laying on your bed talking to yourself.
You need to sing out loud.
You must not feel guilty about these things.
PEOPLE AROUND YOU
What did you do today?
YOU
(comfortably)
I didn't do anything.
We need to be able to do that.
Rest does not need to be justified. If your girlfriend comes home from working in the supermarket and she's grumpy as hell because she worked eleven hours and the boss was horrible, that is sad, it's terrible and needs addressing - but it is not your fault. You are still allowed a day to watch movies.
Most people rest on a Sunday. You might rest on a Tuesday. It's fine.
Rest. Truly rest. Don't justify it. Don't explain it. Don't say "I've just been reading up on stuff and writing to people and applying for stuff." Feel that pressure but RISE ABOVE IT.
Breath. Lay Down. Take a break - you deserve it. You've not had a rest in five years.