Subtitles Paranoia.

The character on screen says..

J'ai le fla blah blah, le une blah blah, Yei Ablahblah, une ich tod flai nor kor ba ba ba ba da da une deux oui blah blah inz frechen la miel blando eli le flabtalia man yah che nee ka ka ka ka ka pordo me putos fla taliah na che condinia blah blah blah blah blah, blah. Blah, de fredo ba ba.

The subtitles say.

Yes, I will buy a whole Turkey.

And that's IT!

Is the lazy subtitler person laughing at me? Are they making things up? Am I getting half the story?

I am always convinced I am being cheated out of the full story! They can't be bothered!

It's like that scene in Lost In Translation!

BILL MURRAY
Is that everything?
I mean, it seemed like he said
quite a bit more than that.

WOMAN
Like an old friend,
and into the camera.


Am I paranoid? Or are they laughing at me?

Subtitle Paranoia can really make a man go insane. I mean, look what happened to Billy Murray:

Care to share?

Tweet

Oscar Speeches From Years Gone By

Check out this wonderful post by Kate Gabrielle over at Silents And Talkies - some great video clips!

Care to share?

Tweet

Actors Who Turn Up For The Razzie Awards.

I think it's great that Sandra Bullock turned up to accept her 'Worst Actress' award at the Razzies for 'All About Steve.' It's great when actors have a sense of humour about these things, and are able to admit that not all their films are masterpieces, and not all of their roles are deep, meaningful things which teach us all about life.



And here's Halle Berry accepting hers from a few years back, great stuff.

Care to share?

Tweet

Creative Fuel - Why I Desperately Need A Plane Ride.

So put me on a plane and fly me to anywhere,
Put me on a plane and fly me to anywhere,
Put me on a plane and fly me to anywhere with you,
With you-Augustana
There are many writers who can fill a page with words easily, every single day. I know many writers (a few novelists and a few bloggers) who, literally, day after day, fill the page. The work is consistent.

I am not one of these people.

My creativity is like a fuel tank. It needs to be filled up with good experiences, bad experiences, spontaneity, confusion, heartache, all of those things and more. Right now, I can't write nothing. This is not good as I'd set aside the beginning of the week to work on a new screenplay. All of my tricks to inspire creativity and tools for side-stepping writers block are not going to do it.

It's not flowing. It's not an excuse, not a fear, not really anything, it's just not happening right now.

Screenwriting for me is normally two things-- one is getting crazy ideas and getting excited. The other is throwing dialogue down on the page and writing speedily. At this moment in time, neither of those things are happening. I'm even finding blogging difficult.

This brief exchange from 'The West Wing' explains it best.


TOBY
I used to write like this. It was ten months ago. I don't understand what's going on. I really don't. I've had slumps before. Everybody does, but this is different.
(beat)
I'm sorry, we don't know each other, but there aren't that many people I can talk to about it. I don't understand what's happening. There's no blood going to it. I never had to locate it before. I don't even know where to look. I'm the President's voice and I don't want it to sound like this.

WILL
Yeah. Can I tell you three things? You are more in need of a night in Atlantic City, than any man I've ever met. Number two is, the last thing you need to worry about is no blood going there. You've got blood going there, about thirteen ways. And some of it isn't good. Once again, I say, "Atlantic City," I'd say sit down at a table, go for dinner, see a show, take a walk on the boardwalk and smell the salt air... but if you're anything like me, nothing after "sit down at a table" is going to happen.

Every few months; I hit a rut. As much as the things I write about creativity and positivity are true, as big a part is that----------- I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

I need to travel. It's like a simple switch. Put me on a plane, send me to Bosnia, L.A, Spain, Japan, Iceland - ANYWHERE, it's like a switch--- BOOM, a plate of ideas and inspiration get handed to me.


Sure, I know, I know - truly successful people/people in control of their lives are meant to be able to access this place mentally and emotionally, without needing to travel. Not me, I need a plane ticket.

I need to experience real people, real places; I need to meet fascinating folk, I need to see weird looking trees, I need to smell the air in different countries, I need to get lost in strange unwelcoming towns, I need to meet pretty girls. A five minute moment with the right girl is enough to inspire fifty pages. But I gotta leave town, gotta leave the country for that. The ones round here inspire nothin'.

Right now, I'm struggling. Struggling to get my imagination going. Struggling, even - to write a blog post. This post has been a chore, but I wanted to write it because it's a part of who I am, part of my creativity, or lack thereof, so I wanted to represent it here -- it would be unfair for me to claim I'm some freakily-creative type who never stops. I stop, with a big thud - and nothing moves for days and weeks. And if I don't get on an airplane, it's gonna get ugly.

Problem is, I have commitments right now. I can't just be flying off. I have managed to figure out a five day gap at the end of the month; the plan is to find a flight with a spare seat and go somewhere, anywhere --- just for those five days. If I don't do that, I will probably go insane --

Also, tellingly, my need for creativity is definitely more important than my need for money. Right now, I am doing things which mean steadily getting some income; and they're somewhat creative -- but I burn, burn, burn for the energy, the fuel, the oxygen of creative juices -- I want to be writing the screenplay I am trying to start. I just need the fuel, and it's in the pretty face of an Italian girl who's waiting out there to reject me, or it's in the fist of some Bosnian man who's going to hit me with a right hook for trespassing, it's out there somewhere, in some experience I haven't had yet--- I just need to go and get it.

I need a phone call.
I need a plane ride.
I need a sunburn.
I need a raincoat.
-Counting Crows

Care to share?

Tweet

Make Your Short Film On A Zero-Budget.

This is a repost from August 2009. I have a lot more readers now, and I thought this would be a good post to share again.

I meet some crazy people. In fact, I meet some sane people, too -- both types seem to be under this crazy illusion that making a short film has to cost money. I have had my zero-budget films screened in festivals next to films that cost $20,000; and the difference in quality has been minimal- and quite often my films were better received than the big-budget ones.

Now, I'm not saying that bigger budget short films suck, nor am I saying that a zero-budget film is better; it of course comes down to talent, luck, script, etc etc. But the way I look at it is: if your film is going to suck anyway, you're better off doing it for $5 than $5,000. I've made some TERRIBLE short films, but have been lucky enough in that they only cost me about ten coffees to make.

I write this post because I have met many upcoming Directors who have erred on the side of doing nothing because they "need $5,000 to make this short film." I am here to tell you that you need about $80 to make your short film, if that.

So you need locations. Locations can cost $1000, or they can cost nothing. And it's entirely up to you. You can say "I would like to film in your Doctor's surgery, how much does it cost?" or you can say -- "I am a young, upcoming film director and I would love to shoot in your surgery. I've been coming here since I was three years old, it's a part of my life and I'd love for it to be in my film. I'm doing this film on a zero-budget, using actors and friends from our community to help out. Would we be able to film in your surgery? It would only take one evening, we can do it after you close."

And they'll say "No.".

But then you say, "Is there any way you can help us out? It would be great fun for any of your staff who want to stick around, we'll make sure they're well fed and they can even be extras! I really want to film there because I can't imagine the scene being anywhere else, it would mean so much to me just to film inside the walls of the surgery! Let me know what I need to do to make you feel comfortable and safe with us being there, and I'll make sure you are happy with it."

And then people begin to open up, they begin to see your passion for the project and they realise they can be a part of making movie magic happen.

Think of ALL the people you know. You know people who live in houses, in apartments, in disgusting rented rooms that have leaks; you know people who work in schools, in offices, in the government, in the streets, in charities; wow -- you know so many people! Think of all the locations you can get!

Short film making is not about signing cheques; it's about filmmakers discovering their art and pulling off miracles with no money. When you make people realise this; and show them how they can be a part of it, they will almost always be willing to help. Two years ago I wrote a script set almost entirely in offices. I wrote to a company who I found by searching 'rent office space london' in Google, and within a week they had given me new office space for a whole day, for absolutely no cost. I promised them that 'when I shoot the big movies a few years from now, I'll come back to you." And it's the truth; because now, if I need an office location, they're the first people I'd contact.

A camera does cost money, I know this. But you can get creative here. Maybe the film would be great if it had a rough and raw documentary feel. Maybe you could just shoot it on your Aunts old camera. Or maybe you need something better. But you look online and the rental companies say they want $400 a day for the model you want. Well, that price is flexible. The minute you say "student," or "low-budget" or "upcoming" they'll immediately modify their quotes. If you have a script, if you have passion, they'll see it-- they'll smell that, five years from now, you might be in a position to help them more. Also, most rental companies are closed on the weekends; so if you get a one day rental on a Friday, you may get to keep the equipment until the Monday. In fact, I did that on my last shoot when I rented a monitor and four lights. It wasn't free, but it wasn't very expensive either.

Maybe you know film students who have access to cameras, or maybe someone who shoots wedding videos for a living. Whoever you are getting a camera from-- you can offer them a film credit, you can offer them a banner on your website, you can offer to advertise them to your 1,024 Facebook friends-- you don't HAVE to hand over cash to get the equipment you need. Be creative.

One thing you can't avoid is the need to feed everyone on your set. Well, I've seen people avoid it-- but I don't agree with it. Especially when everyone is working on your film for free. Why are they working for free? Because you're working for free. You're making a film to show everyone your genius as a Director, despite the lack of money and resources. You're giving the actors the chance to show their genius despite the lack of money and resources. The same rule applies for all of the crew. Rather than 'oh, there's no money' - make it positive! What a wonderful film, filmed for absolutely nothing!! And we all had so much fun doing it!

Anyways, food. A few years back I was about to embark on making a short film, and rather than spend a heap of money on drinks, I wrote to a big soft-drinks company. I told them all about my project; I told them how passionate we all are- doing this amazing project for no money, just with love and hard-work. They wrote back, said they liked what we were doing, then sent two big parcels of drinks the night before the shoot. Everybody got to drink their tasty beverages, and it hadn't cost me a penny. You can't guarantee you'll get freebies like this-- but if you don't ask, you don't get.

I learned a lot about catering a film last year, on a feature-film I produced. I was authorising hundreds of pounds a day to go on food. As the shoot was nearing an end, I was looking at our bank balance and getting that concerned producer's look on my face. But then two of our lovely runners came over to me and told me they could take care of dinner for about £8 a day.

They brought in a giant pot and the ingredients; on one day they made Chilli Con Carne, on the other day they made a little pasta and meat sauce concoction. Suffice to say, it was the best food we had on the whole shoot and it had cost me less than £20 over two days. Of course, it can be really difficult on a feature film when you are shooting for weeks, if not months-- but your short film is only taking up three or four days. So why not send out a message to your Facebook friends and say "would anyone like to make dinner for my gorgeous actresses?" - there is bound to be someone you know who loves the idea of cooking their signature dish and bringing it to your location. In fact, they'll be so proud of their culinary genius, they'll probably pay for it all themselves.

Whatever you are shooting, whatever your needs, and wherever you are filming -- there are ALWAYS ways to do it for nothing. Be creative, ask around, and don't take no for an answer.

Care to share?

Tweet