A MINUTE LATE For DUE DATE

Date: Tuesday 30th December 2010
Operation name: DUE DATE
Task: Get into seat, in cinema, before movie begins.
Cinema: Cineworld Shaftsbury Avenue (near Picadilly Circus Station)
Film start time: 2:00pm (advertised) 2.20pm (when it really starts)

Incident Report:

14.10pm: KITFR (Kid In The Front Row) arrives on tube train at HOLBORN station, using the Central Line. Considers changing onto the Picadilly Line and going directing to Picadilly Circus Station. However, the train changing time and possible delays leads KITFR, who has much experience in film-start-time-based-train-changing, decides to stay on Central Line until the next stop TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD.

14.13pm: Train in tunnel, somewhere between HOLBORN and TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD.

14.16pm: Train not moving. Driver announces something to the passengers. KITFR removes headphones and asks lady next to him "What did he say?" She responds with "Yes." KITFR says "No, the driver." The lady says "okay."

14.17pm: The train moves.

14.17pm: The Train stops.

14.18pm: The train moves.

14.19pm: The Train arrives at TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD station. KITFR predicts that the film DUE DATE will be starting in One Minute. KITFR almost flips out and goes insane at idea of missing beginning of movie, but becomes suddenly inspired when his iPhone's music shuffle brings on Bob Dylan's SHELTER FROM THE STORM.

14.20pm: KITFR moves swiftly out of station, realizing it takes about ten minutes to walk from TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD to the CINEWORLD SHAFTSBURY AVENUE.

14.21pm: KITFR is running. He is abruptly brought to a stop by a large swarm of protesters and police, who are argiung or doing something. KITFR barges his way through, refusing to be a part of the bullshit. It's difficult to get through. In a moment of pure anger and madness, without realizing he did it, KITFR pushes a police officer aside in an aggressive manner and says "fucking hell" under his breath. The policeman looks at him, surprised.

14.21pm: KITFR happens to notice the policeman's badge, which says "Community Support Officer", which is code for "No Authority." KITFR continues on his way.

14.22pm: KITFR sprints across Leicester Square, determined to make the film on time. Unfortunately the London snow has turned to ice. This means slippery conditions but fortunately KITFR has vast experience with threatening weather circumstances so is able to deal with it appropriately.

14.23pm: KITFR is helped up from the ground by a small seven year old whose Mother watches on proudly. She condescendingly says "Awww, did you hurt yourself sweetie?" KITFR can't believe he's being talked to like that by a seven year old.

14.25pm: KITFR arrives at the cinema. There's a line. There's seven people in the line. They're all Norwegian. They're all one family. They don't know what they're doing. But they're smiling, which makes KITFR consider violence.

14.26pm: KITFR arrives at front of line. Beautiful Norwegian girl turns back as she leaves and asks the cashier something dumb. KITFR considers smashing up a cardboard cut out of Harry Potter's pathetic face.

14.27pm: KITFR says to the Cashier Girl "Have I missed any of DUE DATE?" The Cashier fiddles with a bar of chocolate that sits next to her computer mouse.

14.28pm: She eats the chocolate. Then she says "It's just starting, it's okay." KITFR is relieved. Life is finally okay! The Cashier girl says "It's in screen 4. On the top floor." KITFR snatches the ticket out of her hand and sends her negative vibes.

14.29pm: KITFR realizes he needs to pee. KITFR pees. Due to extreme circumstances, he decides on a no-wash.

14.30pm: KITFR arrives in the cinema. A lady who is the opposite of underweight glances at him like he's evil for walking in after the start. KITFR agrees. He takes a seat near the front.

14.30pm: Robert Downey Jr is on the screen, sitting in an airplane. It's apparent that the film has begun. KITFR considers going ABSOLUTELY CRAZY, but suddenly gets caught up in Robert Downey Jr's hilariousness and Lawrence Sher's beautiful photography.

Conclusion: DUE DATE is great fun, very easy to watch, very funny, and beautifully shot. If anyone sees the KITFR, the Community Support Police Service would like a brief word.

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KITFR Online Screenwriting Competition Finalists 2010

Way back in October, I started the Kid In The Front Row Online Screenwriting Competition.

The rules were:

• Your script must be no longer than FIVE pages (six including a cover page)
• You must write in industry-standard format.
• The DEADLINE for the competition is THURSDAY 21st OCTOBER 2010. No exceptions.

Those are the technical rules, here are the STORY RULES.

• You must have these THREE characters: Margaret, Abdul and Regina.These are the ONLY characters you can have.
• Your story takes place at the Headquarters of: 'The Equal Rights Committee.' The only locations (within the headquarters) are: Meeting Room, Kitchen, Secret Shelter.
• You must include this line of dialogue somewhere in the script: "Who the hell is Mark Flamstein?"
  
  

There were 25 entries --- and it was amazing how great the screenplays were; given the restraints in terms of deadline, characters and locations, and of course; the page count limitation.

FIVE SCREENPLAY FINALISTS

"28 Slides Later" by CAROLINE COXON

"Ahimsa" by C E STEWART

"Equal Wrongs" By PATRICK O'RILEY (2009's Winner)

"Health Concerns" By Z. Z. FRANKEL

"Triple Standards" By MICHELLE GOODE

The FIVE finalist screenplays have been sent to JOE LEONARD ("GLEE" Editor, "HOW I GOT LOST" Writer/Director") who will be judging the competition. The KITFR Online Screenwriting Competition Winner will be announced before the end of the year.

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ANA FREE has TALENT

My favorite song at the moment is ANGIE by THE ROLLING STONES. I've been listening to it again and again; it's basically my theme tune for a writing project I'm beginning. By theme tune, I mean-- sometimes an idea, a script, or whatever-- it comes with a sound, or a song. At least it does, for me. So I've been listening to the song a lot-- and a little earlier today I was looking for different versions and came across one by a young singer/songwriter called ANA FREE. And she's magnificent!

Here she is covering Tom Petty's FREE FALLIN' with a guy called JOE MARTINEZ. Not only is it a great version, but after the song they, and another friend who joins in, do an impromptu medley of songs--- and wow, I loved it! So much TALENT! So much FUN! We don't get enough of this energy in music (or in films). Just thought I'd share it, I hope you like her. Ana has quite a fanbase, it's obvious to see why.

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NOTTING HILL - Surreal But Nice

"The world is no longer a romantic place. Some of its people still are however, and therein lies the promise."

-John Cage, in 'Ally McBeal'

NOTTING HILL is a great movie. It's exactly what a romantic comedy should be. Of course, we don't call movies like this great because it's not very cool; and we're all too busy watching French New Wave masterpieces; but when it comes down to it -- there isn't much that's better better than watching a rom-com that resonates, which they can occasionally do.

Of course, we love movies that challenge us -- but we normally want those challenges to be a complex plot or a surprise ending; and we look down upon a challenge which might be, 'to believe in love' or 'to be swept away in a nice story,' which is strange because these things are actually quite rare. But when we let our guard down at 11pm on a Monday night and throw on a DVD like this, we normally enjoy it. Or maybe I'm just talking for myself.

'Notting Hill' is not a movie that tries to rock the world of cinema or redefine the rom-com genre, yet it is a great example of why, when it really comes down to it, there isn't much better than a comedy that makes us care. After-all; the problems and concerns of our lives don't tend to be based on gun chases and explosions, sometimes we really just need to see two beautiful people falling in love; because it can give us hope.

We can all relate to William Thacker and Anna Scott. We're all either hoping for something more exciting to come along, or something to protect us from all the crazy madness going on. We can project all of that onto these characters as we indulge in their journey for two hours.

And that's essentially what a rom-com is; watching people live out our romantic fantasies a little more interestingly that we do in reality. In the movies, they climb into out-of-bounds-gardens with 'When You Say Nothing At All' on the soundtrack, whereas in reality a romance is sending a text message and waiting six hours for a response. In the movies, they meet at Rick's in Casablanca and get Sam to play it again, in real life we wait outside a bar in the rain while the one you were meeting is thirty minutes late because they just don't care about you as much as they would in the movies.

I always forget how much fun 'Notting Hill' is until I watch it again. The supporting cast are ALL absolutely HILARIOUS!

 So, yeah, I really like 'Notting Hill' and I'm sure some of you do, too, and many of you don't. What I like, is how old-fashioned it is. It's just a well told story, with some great comedic touches, and most importantly - a good heart. It doesn't try to overawe us with cleverness or impress us with coolness; it just feels real, and welcoming, like a good cup of English tea.

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The Project Of Yours That Lacks Clarity

What is the project that you've been avoiding for ten years? I think we all have that one elusive project that pops its head into your consciousness every now and then, but whenever you look at it closely you lose clarity and confidence.

Many of the films we see are created by people who made them as a way of avoiding a more personal and meaningful idea that they couldn't quite get to grips with, or feel confident about.

I thought maybe some of you might like to share a bit about your projects; where for today we will celebrate the almost forgotten, almost scary, always elusive ideas that sit somewhere just outside of our focus and full awareness.

By all means, don't give away your plot secrets; but maybe you can tell us something either about your project, or your experience of clarity, or lack thereof.

For me, I have always wanted to write a coming of age tale -- somewhere between 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Garden State,' but with a bit more at stake. The lack of clarity comes because: I find it difficult to really see why it's important (even though I know it is) and a critical voice says 'it'll be too touchy feely,' -- and, well I don't know what else, the clarity monkey makes my brain go foggy even thinking about it.

Your turn...

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