When he was eleven my cousin said to me, "you're just one big movie really aren't you." Whether it was an observation or an insult; he had a good point.
I get a spare minute, and I think about watching a movie. I go on holiday, I see all new experiences as a chance to enrich my screenwriting. I meet a great girl and I'm instantly concerned about what impact she'll have on my creativity and writing.
You could see this as dedication. Or as a mental illness. Whatever it is - it leaves me incomplete. But then everyone's incomplete. At least I'm making movies.
Most people I know who do this for a living can't find an off switch. But it's not healthy. I bet Spielberg has an off switch. I bet he can spend a week on the beach with his family without driving himself crazy about his next project.
Or maybe he can't. Maybe this is the curse that comes with doing this for a living. I guess worrying all day about the third act or the casting of an actor is better than worrying about dying or reliving old grievances in your head.
I just know this isn't the optimal experience. I am not the writer who writes every day from nine whilst drinking a coffee and smiling. I'm the guy who screams at himself for seven months and convinces himself he's a failure before oppressing my creativity so much that it busts out of jail and creates something great just in time. That might be my process, or it might be bad habits I've had since I was a kid.
We can all recommend 'tips' to each other and share books like 'The War Of Art', but the reality is that this stuff is very personal. It's what life does. You might think Mary can't write because of bad habits, but maybe it's because she's still stuck in feelings about an old relationship, and her Grandma recently had a breakdown and because a producer is bullying her. Some writers can work from havoc but most of the time we crave that golden silence, perfect temperature and full stomach.
At times I have been prone to pretentiously believing this is some kind of special affliction that writers get. But it's life. Everyone has this in varying forms. You just have to keep waking up and working at it.
My writing is mostly about the magic of moments created between people. That's what excites me -- the possibilities of human interactions, I just need to remember to experience them myself, rather than miss them because I'm too caught up in my head.
Friday, 4 February 2011
Wednesday, 2 February 2011
The 500th Post
It's my 500th post. This is where you hope for something new and profound, but instead it's like that episode of a sitcom where they do flashbacks to things you've seen a thousand times already. Yesterday the nominees for the 2011 'Bloggies' were announced. Kid In The Front Row is one of the five nominees in the 'Best Entertainment Blog' category. Thank you to all of those who voted for me, I really appreciate it!! You can look at all the nominees here, and you can vote for your favorite blogs. If you want to vote for me, head down to the Best Entertainment Category.
It means a lot to me that I've lasted here for 500 posts. What is the Kid In The Front Row? What does it stand for? It's about loving movies, of course. But I think my passion has always been driven by the writing. For me, the writing that really matters, is the writing that is from the heart. That's tough because, so often this industry isn't about heart, it's about making money-- which is why I often find myself detaching myself from the film industry.
What impact can we have as filmmakers? is an important question to ask. Some people think we have no impact, we're just a two hour distraction-- whereas I think the scope of our potential influence is unlimited. It's like when Michael Jackson died, I was reminded of just how perfect a legacy of work can be. It's easy to forget that when you're seventeen years old and struggling to be true to yourself. Confidence is such a huge thing. We all have inner critics, but we need to get past them; because after a while you can't blame your inner demons or anyone else - you've just got you jump on the long train journey that is your career, your life; and sail on through all the criticism and rejection, because believe it or not -- even Aaron Sorkin struggles with criticism.
It really helps if you find people that get you. When I find someone whose personality/creativity/energy excites or inspires me; I practically throw myself into their lives and make them close friends. So, who are you hanging out with tonight?
Don't get too caught up in all this stuff though. Remember what it's really about. It's about sitting in the front row like a little excited kid as you sneak things into the cinema. I guess you could watch the movie's with someone you're attracted to, but it always goes wrong. Keep loving films. That's your job. Whether you make films or watch films or whether you're a best boy; just keep going cinema crazy, there's nothing like it.
You need to love what you love. It might be beautiful little films like Once or really personal movies like Adventureland, or you could be obsessed with Ginger Rogers flicks. That's your job-- keep watching the things you love. Of course, we all have different film watching patterns. Some people like to compare You've Got Mail with Sleepless In Seattle, some people like obscure Hungarian movies, and others like really moving pictures about history.
If you want to make movies. Now is the perfect time to start. You can begin by hunting down your ideas and the begin writing a screenplay. Of course, your creative juices are a bizarre thing, but if you follow the process naturally you'll be fine. And if you're an actor, don't sit around in Starbucks with a new haircut, get out there and do the work yourself. There's so much we can do. And now is the perfect time to have more women in film and more diversity on our screens - there's a whole world of ideas and experiences out there.
Sometimes things will go very wrong, but it's all part of the process. We're on a long journey, together. You can't do it alone. Take advice from anyone who resonates with you. For me, it's people like Scott Rosenberg, who wrote 'Beautiful Girls,' or Lawrence Sher who shot 'Due Date' and 'Paul.'
And in the words of Forrest Gump, that's all I have to say about that.
It means a lot to me that I've lasted here for 500 posts. What is the Kid In The Front Row? What does it stand for? It's about loving movies, of course. But I think my passion has always been driven by the writing. For me, the writing that really matters, is the writing that is from the heart. That's tough because, so often this industry isn't about heart, it's about making money-- which is why I often find myself detaching myself from the film industry.
What impact can we have as filmmakers? is an important question to ask. Some people think we have no impact, we're just a two hour distraction-- whereas I think the scope of our potential influence is unlimited. It's like when Michael Jackson died, I was reminded of just how perfect a legacy of work can be. It's easy to forget that when you're seventeen years old and struggling to be true to yourself. Confidence is such a huge thing. We all have inner critics, but we need to get past them; because after a while you can't blame your inner demons or anyone else - you've just got you jump on the long train journey that is your career, your life; and sail on through all the criticism and rejection, because believe it or not -- even Aaron Sorkin struggles with criticism.
It really helps if you find people that get you. When I find someone whose personality/creativity/energy excites or inspires me; I practically throw myself into their lives and make them close friends. So, who are you hanging out with tonight?
Don't get too caught up in all this stuff though. Remember what it's really about. It's about sitting in the front row like a little excited kid as you sneak things into the cinema. I guess you could watch the movie's with someone you're attracted to, but it always goes wrong. Keep loving films. That's your job. Whether you make films or watch films or whether you're a best boy; just keep going cinema crazy, there's nothing like it.
You need to love what you love. It might be beautiful little films like Once or really personal movies like Adventureland, or you could be obsessed with Ginger Rogers flicks. That's your job-- keep watching the things you love. Of course, we all have different film watching patterns. Some people like to compare You've Got Mail with Sleepless In Seattle, some people like obscure Hungarian movies, and others like really moving pictures about history.
If you want to make movies. Now is the perfect time to start. You can begin by hunting down your ideas and the begin writing a screenplay. Of course, your creative juices are a bizarre thing, but if you follow the process naturally you'll be fine. And if you're an actor, don't sit around in Starbucks with a new haircut, get out there and do the work yourself. There's so much we can do. And now is the perfect time to have more women in film and more diversity on our screens - there's a whole world of ideas and experiences out there.
Sometimes things will go very wrong, but it's all part of the process. We're on a long journey, together. You can't do it alone. Take advice from anyone who resonates with you. For me, it's people like Scott Rosenberg, who wrote 'Beautiful Girls,' or Lawrence Sher who shot 'Due Date' and 'Paul.'
And in the words of Forrest Gump, that's all I have to say about that.
Sunday, 30 January 2011
Where Is My Brain?
I've had a busy weekend. Shooting lots of scenes for a project; which involved a lot of on set rewriting -- and in fact had me constructing a whole new piece this morning, hours before shooting it. And then before you know it you're on set and an actor's saying "What does my character mean when he says that?" and you try to dig into what you meant and who you were four hours ago when you wrote it. Because when you're directing, you need to know where you're going and what it all means. But sometimes things move so fast -- your brain has to jump loops just to stay on board.
And yesterday was the 29th, and January passed so quickly. I remembered my blogathon, that I set up, with a due date on the 30th of everyone posting about their favorite childhood books. So I started reading mine on the morning journey to our location. But I only got 40 pages in to the perfect Roald Dahl book "Danny The Champion Of The World." But I loved what I read; and I realized so many things about why the book is important to me, but right now I couldn't tell you because my brain is so somewhere else. I've had a booming headache since about 3pm. I think there's a different type of headache you get when you're doing this kind of work. Your brain is stretched in different ways.
The Film Director's Brain Stretch.
1. Be creative and think outside the box.
2. Create a safe and productive environment for others.
3. Know what you're feeling.
4. Be disciplined with time.
5. Know your characters inside out, and know what they mean and don't mean and might mean.
6. Physically try to invent ways to stop daylight from fading.
7. Be patient with actors when they're just not hitting it.
8. Protect yourself from dying when your actors are frustrated because their director just isn't hitting it.
9. Be sure of your instincts. Keep a track of them. Hold onto them, keep them center stage.
10. Be the one to inspire everyone with energy way way way way after everyone has slumped.
And many more things.
The headache was a big one and I still have it now. Water didn't help. Food didn't help. Two paracetamol didn't help. That's the brain stretch-- it just makes your brain expand in crazy ways. That's what people don't get when they sit on the internet and pause mid-masturbation to rip your art to pieces. They're doing it from the luxury of sitting around in their underwear. The ones creating are working so hard they don't even get to change underwear.
The shoot finished at 5pm and then my producer was coming round at 6pm because we were going out to hunt locations for our upcoming movie. But between those times I needed to upload and edit some clips for my friend who I helped out last week. But I couldn't find the cable to connect the camera. And then eventually I did, and I edited the thing; but I messed it up. And then the producer knocked and I still had the brain stretch headache which means I can function like normal, but I can't smile too easily or put my words together as well because my brain is in that creatively trained place where you're just barely functioning. So I'm in the producers car, somewhere in the middle of London; and we're looking at buildings and the producer and my friend-who-knows-everything-about-London who joined us for the trip said "what about shooting here?" my brain struggled because I had no idea what we were going to be shooting or why, because my brain was so fried.
I'm here and it's 10.40pm on a Sunday and I still have a crazy headache. I feel bad because; I'm meant to write a heap about the Roald Dahl book -- but it just wasn't meant to be. But I wish I'd done it. My copy of the book says 'class 6' in it, in my handwriting. I was about 9 years old. This book is my life. I love it. Roald Dahl knew the magic. How did he do it? That feeling he gives you when you read him, there's nothing like it.
And then January was pretty much gone and you look back and you wonder if your month meant anything and you wonder whether 2011 is going to be the year and you have this dumb headache and realize you really must sleep. But it's not even 11pm and I could stay up and watch a few FRIENDS episodes till maybe midnight, because I don't need to be up until 7am. What's better for the brain stretch? Joey being hilarious? Or sleeping? Probably sleeping -- but I don't sleep at 11pm, it's not possible for me. It's always like 3 or 4am. I try for midnight but it doesn't happen. There's just too much to think about at one in the morning.
This is my 499th post on Kid In The Front Row.
And yesterday was the 29th, and January passed so quickly. I remembered my blogathon, that I set up, with a due date on the 30th of everyone posting about their favorite childhood books. So I started reading mine on the morning journey to our location. But I only got 40 pages in to the perfect Roald Dahl book "Danny The Champion Of The World." But I loved what I read; and I realized so many things about why the book is important to me, but right now I couldn't tell you because my brain is so somewhere else. I've had a booming headache since about 3pm. I think there's a different type of headache you get when you're doing this kind of work. Your brain is stretched in different ways.
The Film Director's Brain Stretch.
1. Be creative and think outside the box.
2. Create a safe and productive environment for others.
3. Know what you're feeling.
4. Be disciplined with time.
5. Know your characters inside out, and know what they mean and don't mean and might mean.
6. Physically try to invent ways to stop daylight from fading.
7. Be patient with actors when they're just not hitting it.
8. Protect yourself from dying when your actors are frustrated because their director just isn't hitting it.
9. Be sure of your instincts. Keep a track of them. Hold onto them, keep them center stage.
10. Be the one to inspire everyone with energy way way way way after everyone has slumped.
And many more things.
The headache was a big one and I still have it now. Water didn't help. Food didn't help. Two paracetamol didn't help. That's the brain stretch-- it just makes your brain expand in crazy ways. That's what people don't get when they sit on the internet and pause mid-masturbation to rip your art to pieces. They're doing it from the luxury of sitting around in their underwear. The ones creating are working so hard they don't even get to change underwear.
The shoot finished at 5pm and then my producer was coming round at 6pm because we were going out to hunt locations for our upcoming movie. But between those times I needed to upload and edit some clips for my friend who I helped out last week. But I couldn't find the cable to connect the camera. And then eventually I did, and I edited the thing; but I messed it up. And then the producer knocked and I still had the brain stretch headache which means I can function like normal, but I can't smile too easily or put my words together as well because my brain is in that creatively trained place where you're just barely functioning. So I'm in the producers car, somewhere in the middle of London; and we're looking at buildings and the producer and my friend-who-knows-everything-about-London who joined us for the trip said "what about shooting here?" my brain struggled because I had no idea what we were going to be shooting or why, because my brain was so fried.
I'm here and it's 10.40pm on a Sunday and I still have a crazy headache. I feel bad because; I'm meant to write a heap about the Roald Dahl book -- but it just wasn't meant to be. But I wish I'd done it. My copy of the book says 'class 6' in it, in my handwriting. I was about 9 years old. This book is my life. I love it. Roald Dahl knew the magic. How did he do it? That feeling he gives you when you read him, there's nothing like it.
And then January was pretty much gone and you look back and you wonder if your month meant anything and you wonder whether 2011 is going to be the year and you have this dumb headache and realize you really must sleep. But it's not even 11pm and I could stay up and watch a few FRIENDS episodes till maybe midnight, because I don't need to be up until 7am. What's better for the brain stretch? Joey being hilarious? Or sleeping? Probably sleeping -- but I don't sleep at 11pm, it's not possible for me. It's always like 3 or 4am. I try for midnight but it doesn't happen. There's just too much to think about at one in the morning.
This is my 499th post on Kid In The Front Row.
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
When It Gets You
I love when something gets me. I discovered Patty Griffin a few days ago. I was on YouTube looking for something completely different-- and after clicking away and opening up tabs, it landed on one of her songs. I just knew straight away. Wow.
Here's the song I'm listening to right now.
It's new and fresh to me. But wow, she really resonates. That song has 7,000 views on YouTube. That's all it takes. You can upload a video that has only 9 views, but if it means something to you, it will mean something to someone else if and when they find it. We get so caught up in success and being discovered that we forget that it's really about this. It's about feeling something. And it's not a big thing -- it's not Johnny Depp running around on a ship or Megan Fox not wearing much in Transformers. What we're really about, is this stuff. That's why we love watching films and making films. People say they want to be 'discovered' as if they're hoping for the Spielberg phone call -- but really what people need is that one email from a girl in India who accidentally found your video when researching an assignment about rocks; and she just absolutely loves and adores the very thing you're doing. And it's not because of your camera angles, it's because of the essence of what you did. The most beautiful stuff is simple. Chaplin didn't win us over by blowing things up, he won us over by standing next to a girl and smiling.
And that's why I'm responding so strongly to Patty Griffin.
She's real. She sounds like the one who got away. Or the one you haven't met yet. Or the emotion you've yet to put into your writing. She's something you don't find a lot of when you're going about your bustling life in London or wherever it is you are. I have listened to this song, "Forgiveness" about twenty times in the last two days. I'm not at that stage of taking in the lyrics yet; I'm just taking in the feelings, and emotions and some-other-part-of-its-essence-that-i've-not-figured-out-yet. This song is gonna last a fair while for me.
Everyone I know is stressing about what their next job will be, and if they'll ever write that script, and if they'll ever get to act in a commercial, or if they'll ever get to stop acting in commercials. But they forget, we all forget --- it's about something smaller. It's about that feeling we got when Tim Robbins burrowed through that hole in his cell; it's about that little smile your favorite actress did when she picked up her Oscar, it's about that little bit of piano three and a half minutes into your favorite song. That's it! That's why we're here. We want to get closer to it. We want to touch it, and if we're blessed enough, we want to create it for other people.
Your favorite songs and movies help remind you of that. But I think it's at it's strongest when you find something new. But it has to be something that absolutely and completely agrees with the very core of who you are as a human being. It doesn't happen often. But when it does: You know about it. Like you all knew when I blogged endlessly about 'Adventureland' when I discovered it. It just agreed with everything I agree with. It presented a world back to me that I believe in, long for, and love. The same with Patti Griffin these past few days.
Let's not spend too long bitching about the stuff we don't like -- because it has a knack of absolutely consuming us. Instead we need to be hungry and chase down every thing we could possibly love like completely ruthless animals ---- because that's where the magic is. When I was a kid, I'd stay up all night recording great songs from the radio onto cassettes. When I was a teenager, I'd rent every single video that was in the rental store. That kind of goes away as you get older. I mean, a lot of people tell everyone about their passion and knowledge but deep down, by and large, it kinda calms down and we go a bit mad at ourselves for not spending as many nights and days obsessing over the things we love.
But those places are where the magic is. It's where the fuel is that reminds you why you do what you do, and it reminds you of how perfect a film can be, or how moving a song; and it hits you like a bolt.
Here's the song I'm listening to right now.
It's new and fresh to me. But wow, she really resonates. That song has 7,000 views on YouTube. That's all it takes. You can upload a video that has only 9 views, but if it means something to you, it will mean something to someone else if and when they find it. We get so caught up in success and being discovered that we forget that it's really about this. It's about feeling something. And it's not a big thing -- it's not Johnny Depp running around on a ship or Megan Fox not wearing much in Transformers. What we're really about, is this stuff. That's why we love watching films and making films. People say they want to be 'discovered' as if they're hoping for the Spielberg phone call -- but really what people need is that one email from a girl in India who accidentally found your video when researching an assignment about rocks; and she just absolutely loves and adores the very thing you're doing. And it's not because of your camera angles, it's because of the essence of what you did. The most beautiful stuff is simple. Chaplin didn't win us over by blowing things up, he won us over by standing next to a girl and smiling.
And that's why I'm responding so strongly to Patty Griffin.
She's real. She sounds like the one who got away. Or the one you haven't met yet. Or the emotion you've yet to put into your writing. She's something you don't find a lot of when you're going about your bustling life in London or wherever it is you are. I have listened to this song, "Forgiveness" about twenty times in the last two days. I'm not at that stage of taking in the lyrics yet; I'm just taking in the feelings, and emotions and some-other-part-of-its-essence-that-i've-not-figured-out-yet. This song is gonna last a fair while for me.
Everyone I know is stressing about what their next job will be, and if they'll ever write that script, and if they'll ever get to act in a commercial, or if they'll ever get to stop acting in commercials. But they forget, we all forget --- it's about something smaller. It's about that feeling we got when Tim Robbins burrowed through that hole in his cell; it's about that little smile your favorite actress did when she picked up her Oscar, it's about that little bit of piano three and a half minutes into your favorite song. That's it! That's why we're here. We want to get closer to it. We want to touch it, and if we're blessed enough, we want to create it for other people.
Your favorite songs and movies help remind you of that. But I think it's at it's strongest when you find something new. But it has to be something that absolutely and completely agrees with the very core of who you are as a human being. It doesn't happen often. But when it does: You know about it. Like you all knew when I blogged endlessly about 'Adventureland' when I discovered it. It just agreed with everything I agree with. It presented a world back to me that I believe in, long for, and love. The same with Patti Griffin these past few days.
Let's not spend too long bitching about the stuff we don't like -- because it has a knack of absolutely consuming us. Instead we need to be hungry and chase down every thing we could possibly love like completely ruthless animals ---- because that's where the magic is. When I was a kid, I'd stay up all night recording great songs from the radio onto cassettes. When I was a teenager, I'd rent every single video that was in the rental store. That kind of goes away as you get older. I mean, a lot of people tell everyone about their passion and knowledge but deep down, by and large, it kinda calms down and we go a bit mad at ourselves for not spending as many nights and days obsessing over the things we love.
But those places are where the magic is. It's where the fuel is that reminds you why you do what you do, and it reminds you of how perfect a film can be, or how moving a song; and it hits you like a bolt.
An Apple iPhone Conspiracy
My iPhone is getting remarkably slower as the days pass. I'm convinced this is a ploy by apple -- to make me buy a new iPhone.
I was always the type who'd get given some old phone and hold onto it until it broke. But when I saw the iPhone, I liked it. It seemed useful for me as a filmmaker. And it is. I'm always using the notepad app and I use a few other little useful things. Plus the email function is very important.I have an iPhone 3G. You know the one I mean; the old one. Old used to mean a guy with a cane who spoke of war stories. Now old means the same thing as new except it's called something different.
My iPhone is nearly empty. I'm not into games and stuff. Nothing is on it. Yet it's slowing, rapidly. And the few apps I do use stop updating after a while unless you update the iPhone software. So I upload the software.
But then my phone dramatically slows. My instinct is 'this is ridiculous' but everyone elses instincts seem to be 'get the newer iPhone.' It seems insane to me. This is how things go now. We replace and update things by necessity, because that's how it is. They've added a hundred onto the price of a new Xbox just because you can plug a few extra things in it.
My phone is the same thing it was two years ago, except it hardly works. I haven't damaged it, it's just what they do-- get us addicted and then slow things down so we need the new one. I am getting a bit conspiratorial in my old age; but I feel ripped off. I feel we're all ripped off, all the time, and we just fall for it. We buy shiny new things that should last for fifty years but they last for a year and then we're happy to move on. A guy said to me the other day, "I'm on my 4th Xbox 360". How can that NOT be insane?
Why should I have to buy a new phone? I mean; I have to ----- it currently takes me two minutes just to read a text message. Something needs to be done. I hope someone out there believes my conspiracy theories otherwise they may indeed lock me up!
I was always the type who'd get given some old phone and hold onto it until it broke. But when I saw the iPhone, I liked it. It seemed useful for me as a filmmaker. And it is. I'm always using the notepad app and I use a few other little useful things. Plus the email function is very important.I have an iPhone 3G. You know the one I mean; the old one. Old used to mean a guy with a cane who spoke of war stories. Now old means the same thing as new except it's called something different.
My iPhone is nearly empty. I'm not into games and stuff. Nothing is on it. Yet it's slowing, rapidly. And the few apps I do use stop updating after a while unless you update the iPhone software. So I upload the software.
But then my phone dramatically slows. My instinct is 'this is ridiculous' but everyone elses instincts seem to be 'get the newer iPhone.' It seems insane to me. This is how things go now. We replace and update things by necessity, because that's how it is. They've added a hundred onto the price of a new Xbox just because you can plug a few extra things in it.
My phone is the same thing it was two years ago, except it hardly works. I haven't damaged it, it's just what they do-- get us addicted and then slow things down so we need the new one. I am getting a bit conspiratorial in my old age; but I feel ripped off. I feel we're all ripped off, all the time, and we just fall for it. We buy shiny new things that should last for fifty years but they last for a year and then we're happy to move on. A guy said to me the other day, "I'm on my 4th Xbox 360". How can that NOT be insane?
Why should I have to buy a new phone? I mean; I have to ----- it currently takes me two minutes just to read a text message. Something needs to be done. I hope someone out there believes my conspiracy theories otherwise they may indeed lock me up!
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