Enough of the positive malarkey. Let's get down to the negative.
1. Cinema Staff During A Screening..
..who come in halfway through a movie and sit in front of you and start texting their friends. Not good.
2. Eat Pray Love
Fuckawful film which is like one big advert for white privilege. A rich, married, white American woman decides to do some 'soul-searching' after realising she doesn't love her husband anymore. She pisses off to a bunch of different countries where people are seemingly waiting around ready to be stereotypical of their nationalities.. i.e food loving Italians and Eastern spiritual gurus. Julia Roberts prances around the world picking up bits of wisdom that make her dull yet perfect American lifestyle more meaningful and profound (to her). Never has a film been so condescending, misled and, in many ways, offensive. Absolutely soulless.
3. The 'How can you not have seen...?' shitheads.
You know the ones I mean. The guys who love their piece of Romanian zombie bullshit from 1976 and try to make out you're a lesser person because you haven't seen it. "Oh come on, how can you not have seen it?" Like I give a shit.
4. Actors Who Leave Your Script On The Train.
Unbelievable. The actress gets to the audition and asks for another copy. "I'm sorry I left your script on the train," she says. That's great! Nothing I love more than giving away my passion project to a stranger on a train.
5. People who believe their own hype.
Because hype dies. One minute the newspaper says you're the next big star -or- you get a lead role in a TV show, the next minute you're tending bar. That's the reality. But there's nothing worse than someone who's only just put down the empty glasses who won't return calls or won't be polite because they think they've 'surpassed it.' These people suffer when the hype dies, because everyone remembers. It happens all the time. Don't believe your hype. It's meaningless.
Friday, 25 March 2011
I'm giving you all a HALL PASS
If a friend, family member, colleague, or cute member of the opposite sex (or same sex, dependent on your orientation, or mood that day) and asks you to go and see the film "HALL PASS" --- please use the following sentence:
"The Kid In The Front Row has given me a Hall Pass for HALL PASS, which means I don't have to go."
Immediately after this sentence, turn towards the nearest exit and walk, fast. It'll be okay.
Immediately after this sentence, turn towards the nearest exit and walk, fast. It'll be okay.
Wednesday, 23 March 2011
Jack Lemmon - Spread A Little Sunshine
Some people you just love. They represent everything you value. You want a bit of what they've got, even just 5% of that magic.
Jack was something special. Everyone knew it. When we look up at the screen now - we rarely see what he gave us. And that's very sad.
My favorite fact about Jack: Before making it as an actor, he worked as a restaurant quality checker, but was fired because he kept rating everybody "excellent."
My favorite fact about Jack: Before making it as an actor, he worked as a restaurant quality checker, but was fired because he kept rating everybody "excellent."
REBECCA BLACK
"De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true"
-Rebecca Black
"Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah"
-Sting
-Rebecca Black
"Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah"
-Sting
Rebecca Black is a 13 year old girl somewhere in America who, for whatever reason, made a pop song and a video. If it had only been witnessed by seven people - would it still signal the end of music as we know it? At the time of writing, close to five hundred thousand people have hit the 'dislike' button on her YouTube video. These aren't 13 year old girls disliking it, they're angry forty year old men who are pissed that nobody's listening to Metallica anymore.
I don't see how Rebecca Black is relevant to me. Her video is fun. I remember being fourteen - it was similar to the video. You talk shit, you see your friends, you look forward to the weekend. Great, I hope the kids enjoy the song. It wasn't made for me. I only saw it because of the media storm.
So 500,000 hit 'dislike.' That's a lot of hate. Couldn't we do something more productive? The comments are mostly people bitching about how awful the music industry is, how this is the worst thing ever. But how many of them are creating the alternatives? Like it or not, the talentless can get famous in five minutes, but for the talented it takes years. The forty year old singer/songwriter might have more talent than Rebecca Black, but none of his songs are as good as Bruce Springsteen's. That's not Rebecca Black's fault. The guy just needs to keep making music. Whether Rebecca Black exists or not; everything is still the same.
But Black actually has some talent. She performed it acoustic. I've heard worse. There's a bunch of young girls in the audience. They seem to dig it. Should we force them to listen to Bob Dylan records?
Good music, good films, good art, whatever --- they don't exist in a vacuum. You can't get the good stuff without the bad. We enjoy Tom Petty because he isn't Rebecca Black. But the Petty's don't exist without the Black's and the Britney's. If the mainstream loved what we love on a personal level, it wouldn't mean anything. When Springsteen sings about bustin' outta town, or when Aretha Franklin sings about freedom - they're powerful because they come from outside, they come from a place that hurts. That matters. The mainstream frames this perfectly, it's what makes it meaningful. That's why the greatest hits are never your favorites, they mean too much to too many.
But we don't need to be so angry every time a teenager sings about the weekend. She's just a kid.
What's the meanest thing you've read, that hurt you the most? -Interviewer.
I hope you cut yourself and I hope you get an eating disorder so you'll look pretty. And I hope you go cut and die. -Rebecca Black, 13.Tuesday, 22 March 2011
McNuggets
1. I started a blog post about fifteen times last night. Desperately had something to say, I just couldn't figure out what it was.
2. I saw "You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger" today. The cinema was empty - it was just me. Me and a Woody Allen movie. Perfect. I loved it. I know most people don't - but it was pure joy for me. I walked home completely satisfied.
3. You just want actors to be truthful. That's all. Actors should just walk into auditions and be a light of truth.
4. I listen to Tom Petty a lot. I put his name on YouTube and then click 'playlists' and 'shuffle' and listen to all his live music magic.
5. They're bombing Libya. What does it all mean? I go to the shop to buy a can of coke and I don't get bombed, but if you're in Libya you can't be so sure. Is Gaddafi killing someone worse than one of our guys killing someone, just because our guy didn't mean to hurt a civilian? How are we meant to watch the news without wanting to scream, or puke? Why are bombings the answer? How does this end?
6. "Helvetica" is a great documentary. It's about a bunch of guys who are passionate about fonts. Their faces light up when they talk about typography. Sounds boring but it gets you--- because they're passionate. Passion is so interesting. By the end of the documentary you realize that fonts shape everything - and you immediately want to redesign your blog and change the fonts you use in emails.
7. Adam Duritz' interpretation of this song is haunting.
8. Everyone is out to get at your integrity. Like, five minutes after starting your blog, someone will offer you $9 to do a sponsored post. It's so you can link to their site, to improve their google rankings. That's how all writing is, it's how all art is. But there has to be someone, somewhere, who cares about what they're doing and doesn't sell out straight away. Is it you? Or, I guess, if you're going to sell it, do it the way they did in 'The Social Network.' "We don't know what it is yet," --- don't sell out for $9. Wait till you're so unique and amazing that it's $9million. Because if you sell up who you are for a couple of dollars, you'll peak too soon.
9. Sometimes people recommend me films or TV shows, and I tell them I won't be watching them within a second of seeing a trailer or whatever. It can come across as pretentiousness; but really; it's about authenticity. There's a very narrow window of material that I like, and I can always spot it. People who like similar stuff to me will probably know what I mean. But look how pretentious that sounds.
10. I'm tired.
2. I saw "You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger" today. The cinema was empty - it was just me. Me and a Woody Allen movie. Perfect. I loved it. I know most people don't - but it was pure joy for me. I walked home completely satisfied.
3. You just want actors to be truthful. That's all. Actors should just walk into auditions and be a light of truth.
4. I listen to Tom Petty a lot. I put his name on YouTube and then click 'playlists' and 'shuffle' and listen to all his live music magic.
5. They're bombing Libya. What does it all mean? I go to the shop to buy a can of coke and I don't get bombed, but if you're in Libya you can't be so sure. Is Gaddafi killing someone worse than one of our guys killing someone, just because our guy didn't mean to hurt a civilian? How are we meant to watch the news without wanting to scream, or puke? Why are bombings the answer? How does this end?
6. "Helvetica" is a great documentary. It's about a bunch of guys who are passionate about fonts. Their faces light up when they talk about typography. Sounds boring but it gets you--- because they're passionate. Passion is so interesting. By the end of the documentary you realize that fonts shape everything - and you immediately want to redesign your blog and change the fonts you use in emails.
7. Adam Duritz' interpretation of this song is haunting.
8. Everyone is out to get at your integrity. Like, five minutes after starting your blog, someone will offer you $9 to do a sponsored post. It's so you can link to their site, to improve their google rankings. That's how all writing is, it's how all art is. But there has to be someone, somewhere, who cares about what they're doing and doesn't sell out straight away. Is it you? Or, I guess, if you're going to sell it, do it the way they did in 'The Social Network.' "We don't know what it is yet," --- don't sell out for $9. Wait till you're so unique and amazing that it's $9million. Because if you sell up who you are for a couple of dollars, you'll peak too soon.
9. Sometimes people recommend me films or TV shows, and I tell them I won't be watching them within a second of seeing a trailer or whatever. It can come across as pretentiousness; but really; it's about authenticity. There's a very narrow window of material that I like, and I can always spot it. People who like similar stuff to me will probably know what I mean. But look how pretentious that sounds.
10. I'm tired.
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