Thursday, 18 August 2011

Celebrity Big Brother (UK)

These are all people who need the exposure to survive.

Tara Reid was a great young actress. But she chose being a celebrity over being an actor. Jedward are the product of Simon Cowell and were dropped by Sony after the first single. They got signed by Universal for a while but no-one cares. The record sales are poor and they don't matter. That's why they need to whore out to Big Brother.

Amy Childs got known for an idiotic TV show. After she got known she could have worked on some independent films but instead she posed for lads mags. And she could have got an acting coach but instead she got a boob job. So now she has to keep doing the reality shows because she needs the exposure. She's resigned to a life of gossip mags. But it's not even a life, it's two years, because then no-one cares.

Kerry Katona. Who? Nobody cares. I vaguely recall she was in a girl band. When you're in a band that teens love, you either commit to the music, like Hanson, or you work on producing great material like Beyonce. Kerry did neither, she just turned up on TV and did the celebrity thing.

The show is an embarrassing array of has-beens, parading around like a big orgy of plastic surgery.

No-one needs to be a has-been in this industry. There are ups and downs but if you hold onto yourself as a professional, you can continue to grow. The plastic, the reality shows, they add up to nothing. Sure, we sometimes watch, but it's the same way we slow down to look at car crashes.

There's always a deal being offered somewhere that will ebb away at your credibility, it'll suck away your individuality. I remember when I first saw Tara Reid in 'American Pie', I was in love. The voice was so sexy and she was a beautiful blonde dream. It meant something. But she didn't try to build a career like Michelle Pfeiffer or Kate Winslet, she went the other way.

And these weird celebrities may continue to turn up on reality shows and cooking programs for the next three or four years but it's only because the schedules need filling. After that it will fade because there'll be a new group with fresher fake tans and boob jobs.

If you want a career or longevity, be an artist. Be a worker. It takes longer but it also lasts longer.

Care to share?

Film Directing: Final Cut Privilege

Every director wants final cut privilege. What this means is: they have control, the final say.

There is no certain way to make sure you have it unless you produce and fund your own work, otherwise, it's a struggle.

If you're a new and upcoming film director, the concern of producers will be that, due to your inexperience, they need to have the rights to the final edit in case you mess up or don't deliver a strong ending.

Paradoxically, the more financially successful you are as a director, the bigger the budget, the more responsibilities you carry. A studio won't want to spend a hundred million dollars and then let the director have complete freedom.

It's not uncommon to see extremely great debut feature films from writer/director's, who then go on to do uninspired big budget studio films. Often, this is because they have lost the freedom, the control. The decisions are made by producers, studio heads and focus group data.

Because who should control a film? Easy for us to say "the director!". But it's the producer who gets sued if the film doesn't get delivered. It's the investors who lose out if the film is unwatchable. Even when you give a great director the final cut, he won't always make 'Annie Hall'. Sometimes you'll get 'Cassandra's Dream'.

That's why the new crop of director's cut their teeth on low-budget short films. They learn the craft and build up a body of work to prove they know what they're doing. It's a producer's job to know what sells but it's a director's job to know what resonates. You just need to decide what kind of project yours is.

If you're directing a small independent film, you need to do everything you can to ensure you have the final cut privileges. It's your attempt at telling a story, it's your vision. No producer or investor could ever know how to nail your vision. You need to hold onto it at all costs and get it in the contract. That's why the festivals and awards and YouTube 'likes' are important, they prove your talent, your understanding, your ability.

You need to build a reputation as an artist. Never go over budget, and confidently stand by your vision, otherwise you'll get eaten. Then again, the truth is that the vast majority of films aren't art, they're product. If that's where you're going, then don't worry about final cut, you'll certainly have an easier time getting hired. But you may never get to make 'Annie Hall'.

Care to share?

The Dark Knight Rises Exclusive!

I'm excited about the new Batman film. Who isn't? For some reason though, I'd yet to see the teaser trailer.

So a few days ago I went onto YouTube and started the video. It wasn't what I expected; some guy was driving a Volvo and talking about comfort and I realised this was going to be a terrible sequel. Then a button popped up asking me if I wanted to skip, which I did (in the garden), before returning to watch the rest of the video.

The trailer started making more sense after that because the smiley family in the Volvo were gone and instead everything was darker and people looked more grumpy.


It looked magnificent and I was totally excited, even more so when suddenly something at the bottom of the frame popped up offering me business class flights to Dubai. It said "Hurry up! Offer ends soon!" which immediately made me panic, as the video was ending in 19 seconds. Is this an interactive movie?


I snapped into action: I booked business class flights to Dubai. I had to save The Dark Knight.

This is what I love about movies. They're getting so realistic! I packed my bags and readied myself for the flight. I decided to return to YouTube one last time, just to check my mission again. To my surprise, I was given a new directive.


Get groceries delivered to my home? Was The Dark Knight going to deliver my order of chicken breast fillets? To be honest, I don't know, and have been baffled ever since.

Any advice on how to proceed would be warmly welcomed.

Care to share?

Monday, 15 August 2011

Tops

Best films? Personal favourites? I don't know what the criteria is, I just want you to join in. Use the comments section to share your five's, which I'm sure will be different to mine.

Hanks 5

1. Forrest Gump
2. Cast Away
3. Punchline
4. Saving Private Ryan
5. Apollo 13

Spielberg 5

1. Jaws
2. E.T.
3. Jurassic Park
4. Duel
5. Schindler's List

Sandler 5

1. Punch Drunk Love
2. Reign Over Me
3. Happy Gilmore
4. Big Daddy
5. Just Go With It

Your turn.

Care to share?