The Kid Meets ALVY SINGER - Kid In The Front Row Film Character Dialogues - A Blogathon

A few days back I asked you all to take part in a Kid In The Front Row Blogathon. Here are the details.

The idea? Have an imaginary conversation with the film character of your choice. Well, today, I chose to have a conversation with the Woody Allen creation ALVY SINGER, from the film 'Annie Hall'. Unexpectedly, another character enters the conversation..

KID

Hi Alvy, how's it going?

ALVY
I-I-I'm totally fine, y'know, I just didn't expect to resurface in your imagination.

KID
What have you been up to?

ALVY
Not much. I had all these plans and places to go but then the movie ended.

KID
Annie Hall?

ALVY
Exactly.

KID
Do you still speak to Annie?

ALVY
She won't talk to me. And it's killing me.

ANNIE HALL
This is just like Alvy, he thinks the whole world is against him. He could always text me if he wanted to, he just likes to blame other people.

ALVY
Great, Kid; you say you want to talk to me and now you bring Annie here.

KID
Is that a problem?

ALVY
Well, I, I mean, y'know, jeez, she's my ex-girlfriend. And not only that but, she's fictional.

ANNIE HALL
Here you go again Alvy, calling me fictional, and you wonder why you have trouble with women.

ALVY
Trouble with women? It's the exact opposite, in fact. I can get a date any time I want and, y'know, on occasion, we even make it through dinner.

KID
I can't believe you're still single after all these years.

ALVY
Hey, I'm only in my mid-seventies. When I reach my sexual peak, it'll be perfect.

KID
Are you still writing?

ALVY
I am but, y'know, they think I'm being pretentious because I insist on spelling words correctly.

KID
What do you think of film and television these days?

ANNIE HALL
He hates both, he thinks they're all submental.

ALVY
Jeez, would you let me get a word in? I think television is fascinating, really; the way they line everyone up and the judges pick who goes through, I mean, as a Jew, I can really relate.

KID
Right, yeah. Well it's been nice catching up.

Please join in and do your own versions! Have a chat with any film character, about any topic you want! Have fun with it! I'll be sharing other blogs on the Kid In The Front Row Facebook Fan Page.

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CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE --and-- WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?

These are not the types of films I normally blog about --- because they're the films you go to see when there's nothing else on, and afterwards you leave and instantly forget about them.

Except that, they were kind of good. 'Crazy, Stupid, Love' has some really original moments, a lot of heart, and there are genuine laughs. One particular moment about three quarters of the way through was unexpected and HILARIOUS -- it caught everyone watching by surprise. 

But it dragged on. The film should have ended but then it stumbled on for another 30 minutes. Why do they always do that? 

'What's Your Number?' was, in many ways, a poor film. Mostly because of the script. The concept was about a woman who decides to go back through her twenty ex-boyfriends to see if any of them are 'the one'. The problem is, they introduce her love interest (her neighbor), before they properly introduce the concept. So, before she's even set off to investigate her ex-boyfriends, we already know she's going to end up with him; which renders the whole story pointless.

The film was too obvious. And there were no surprises. But luckily Anna Faris is very good, and so was Chris Evans. 

Is Anna Faris generally seen as a good actress? I don't know, I've never really followed her work, but she was good in 'What's Your Number?'. She didn't do anything groundbreaking, and it wasn't that she was particularly great in a way I can pinpoint -- it was just that, she lets you in. You feel like you know her. The film was primarily about her loneliness. And there were times when the audience couldn't help but go awwww. That's why people love Jennifer Aniston; and that's why Tom Hanks was the man in the 90's. Because they open up and let you be their best friend. 

That isn't 'good acting' and it's not a skill. It's a certain type of humanity -- it's personality and character. You can't teach that. It's hard to know if you have it and you can also lose it. Case in point: Tom Hanks. We don't feel like we have access to who he is anymore.

Summary:

Crazy, Stupid, Love: Some very funny moments, including one extremely hilarious scene. Full of heart and good intention. Stand out performances from Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling and Analeigh Tipton. Also a great scene near the end when Carell tells Gosling he'll never be able to trust him (it's great because it avoids cliches and delivers something real).

What's Your Number?: An average film. Average-to-poor script. Also had the opportunity to finish thirty minutes before it did, but they dragged it on. Why? No-one knows. Despite some daft writing; the actors are wonderful and keep you engaged, and the direction by Mark Mylod allows for some nice moments between the characters.

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Your INNER CRITIC - Change The Conversation!

The people we meet, companies we work for and institutions we come into contact with; they all play their part in rejecting us and judging us.

But most of it is done on an inner level by ourselves.

It happens when you write a genius script for a month until you wake up one morning convinced it sucks. Or when you're driving to an audition for a role you were born to play when you suddenly realise you're a pathetic actor.

Ever notice how much authority you give your inner critic? It's an all knowing God!

Except that it's not. The critic is your biggest fears multiplied by 500. Makes you think of the time you messed up on stage when you were 7, or when your school teacher said your writing was 'too basic'.

That was then and this is now. The crap you got from the world became internalised and now you're your own worst enemy.

The thing to realise about the inner critic is that it's not fact. Your inner critic isn't Spielberg or Meryl Streep, it's just a vulnerable part of you desperate not to be stranded, naked, and pointed at.

Hear what your critic says, but realise it's just one viewpoint. It's not a fact.

Your critic will say: "you suck! You have no talent, you're ugly, and you've lost something over the years".

You wouldn't let me say that to you. If your friends or family said it you'd be deeply offended -- so why say it to yourself? Why believe it? How can you be creative when you put yourself down so much?

You can't. There needs to be love. You've achieved lots. You've decided to be an artist in a world that only cares about city bankers and reality show contestants. You're brave. You have talent and you know it, so don't ever let your inner critic sabotage you. You're too good, too talented.

Perfection is impossible. Your critic only wants you to write when you have a masterpiece. That's impossible. You can't ever make a masterpiece on purpose.

A masterpiece is when a project, by hard work and luck, has less mistakes than all the others.

But you have to be willing to make mistakes.

You're not perfect. Artists aren't meant to be. We just step out the front door and create, do some hard work and have fun.

Stop stopping yourself. Your critic is not an expert. It's just scared. Tell your critic to take a break, or to give you constructive thoughts rather then condemnation.

Make art!

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Take Part In A KITFR Blogathon on Sat 8th October 2011!

Who is your favorite film character? Wouldn't it be great if you could speak to him/her? Well -- now you can!

I want you to let your imagination fly --- go off into your fantasies and have a meeting with the film character of your choice. Maybe you'll sit down with Forrest Gump to talk about life, maybe you'll interview John McCLane about all his Die Hard exploits. 

There's no right or wrong here. This isn't a contest. I just want all of us to have the luxury of spending time with a character we love. It could go something like this:

KID 

Forrest, I've always wanted to meet you!

FORREST GUMP 

What's a blog?

KID 

It's a place to have discussions, be part of a community!

FORREST GUMP

Mom always said community is something special. 

KID 

It is! 

Or maybe it's more like this, a conversation with MARK ZUCKERBERG (the fictional, Sorkin-version):

KID 

How are you? 

ZUCKERBERG 

Me? Fine. 

KID 

What have you been up to? 

ZUCKERBERG 

Facebook.

KID 

Cool, anything else, been on holiday or anything? 

ZUCKERBERG 

I don't have time. If I went on holiday I'd be someone who goes on holiday, but I'm someone who built Facebook which is why I'm in the offices of Facebook. Can I help you?

KID 

I just want to chat. 

ZUCKERBERG

Chat? 

KID 

It's what people do sometimes. 

ZUCKERBERG 

Sometimes people chat. Sometimes people watch reality TV in their underwear. If I do what people sometimes do I may end up doing nothing at all. 

KID 

Okay.

ZUCKERBERG

We done? 

KID 

Okay. 

ZUCKERBERG

Okay.

So here's your chance! Don't get caught up worrying how they really speak. You don't need to be a screenwriter -- you just need to go off up into that brain of yours and imagine a conversation with a film character. I'll be doing one too! :D 

I hope you all join in! Feel free to share this as much as you can, it would be a lot of fun to see many people do this!

Please post your imaginary film character dialogues on your website/blog THIS SATURDAY, the 8th October 2011. 

"Film Character Dialogues - A Kid In The Front Row Blogathon"

I can't wait to read them!!

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Olympic Gold - A Kid In The Front Row Screenplay

Last week I wrote an article for Anomalous Material called "The Elusiveness Of Cinematic Greatness".

In the article, I quipped; "Why of all the movies does Shawshank transcend? Don’t throw phrases at me like, “It has universal themes.” So what!!? When I was eight I wrote a story about a goldfish which won the Olympics. It had universal themes. It sucked."

Here are three comments which mentioned the goldfish: 

Nick Prigge: "By the way, could you forward me a copy of the script about the goldfish that wins the Olympics? We could probably get 2.5 mil from Paramount."

NeverTooEarlyMP: "And I’m with Nick about wanting to see the goldfish movie get made."

CitizenScreen: "Enjoyed reading this! And, I think a story about a goldfish that wins the olympics would make an awesome screenplay!"

Taking this feedback to heart -- I decided to pen the screenplay for what will undoubtedly be a smash hit --- "Olympic Gold". I hope you enjoy!

I am only interested in selling this story idea to the major studios in a seven figure deal.

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