Just Breathe

Did I say that I need you?

Did I say that I want you?

Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool, you see

No one knows this more than me

As I come clean

I had to delay calling my friend yesterday as I was walking home, because I had to listen to this song another four times. Weird how a song can do that sometimes. When I finally called her I was saying how sad it is that we don't get as flat out moved by songs and movies as much as we did when we were seventeen. She agreed. 

I sense that 'Just Breathe' is one of Pearl Jam's most known songs, but I don't know? I never knew it before. I'm a bit weird like that. My knowledge of music and film is rarely in keeping with everyone else. Sometimes I discover a song and love it and people say "Ummm - it's been on the radio every day for four years" I'm just kind of oblivious. I suspect that "Just Breathe" Is not particularly famous, but then I don't know. 

The song really had me stumped -- it was communicating something to me and I wasn't quite sure what. I still feel the same. And of course, songs get wrapped up in what you're feeling and going through in your life. The first line is:

Yes I understand, 

That every life must end aw-huh. 

The song isn't just about death. I mean, maybe it is; but there's also something romantic about it, there's life in it. But death just happened to be the theme of the day, and this song fit the theme perfectly. Prior to listening to it six times on the way home, I was having dinner at my friend Stephanie's house. We traditionally talk about everything, and this time was no exception -- except we started talking about death and what we think happens afterwards. 

After I left Stephanie's and after I called Anna, I found myself at home, on Facebook, obsessively reading the Facebook wall of a friend of mine, an actress, whose husband had just died. I was hooked -- couldn't stop reading her heartbreaking statuses and those of her friends and loved ones. Facebook somehow makes death even more public and in your face than ever before. I couldn't help but look at pictures of her and her husband -- he looked so young and healthy. How can life do that? Take you away and off into the darkness? Even if there is a heaven or a meeting point of some kind, everyone on Earth is left with the ghosts of people who disappeared. 

I'm a lucky man to count on both hands 
the ones I love

Some folks just have one, 
yeah others they got none, aw huh

Stay with me, oh let's just breathe

Somehow 'Just Breathe' captured everything I was feeling. How often does a song do that? Not often enough. But that's why music is important. That's why we love it. Not just to have something to listen to as a way of passing time. We love it because occasionally it's everything. 

Nothing you would take

Everything you gave

Hold me till I die

Meet you on the other side

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Tuesday Dialogue #3 - Claire Colburn & Drew Baylor

Setting The Scene: Claire Colburn, a flight attendant, met Drew Baylor as he made his way across the country to make arrangements for his Father's funeral. Feeling  an attachment towards him, Claire gave him her number. Late at night, feeling the need for company, Drew gives Claire a call, and a quick hello turns into an all night conversation.

CLAIRE: It will hit you. It could be ten minutes, or it could be ten years from now, so it's good that you talk about it, or don't talk about it. Well, we have talked about it, but, that's what they say.

DREW: That's what they say, huh?

Yes, that's what they say.

I've always wondered this -- who are they?

Y'know, them.

Them.

The inimitable collective. Them. 

And who says we're supposed to listen to them?

They do.

Doesn't your ear hurt?

Yes, it does. And I have to get up in two hours and be charming. I'm going to Hawaii.

You'll get there and have fun.

I'll get there and sleep. It's just a little vacation I traded routes for..... I'll let you go.

Wait. Um, when will you be back? ... Hello? Still there?

Yeah. I'm just wondering if this whole thing is better on the phone. It's so much better on the phone. Maybe we should never face each other again. 

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The Screen On The Green

I love that this place exists, even though I've only been here twice.

I guess that's the problem with small one screen cinemas that show 'This Is Spinal Tap', how often do you really go? I blog about independent film and about 'being an artist' every day, yet do I live it all the time?

No I don't.

This cinema isn't too far from me and I could come here more often. It gives me a buzz just walking past it. It looks how a cinema should look. It looks how they look in the movies. It's Cinema Paradiso right here in Islington, London.

To be honest I do have an excuse for never going here. I found it when I was going for a walk with a girlfriend many years ago. We saw a documentary and promised never to visit the cinema without each other. Weird how you remember things like that. I wonder if she's been here since.

I say 'here' because I'm literally standing opposite it and blogging from my phone. I love that this place exists and I hope it's surviving well. I would go see a movie but I have a meeting in six minutes and then I'm off to East London for dinner with a friend. I need to come back soon, and preferably not with the ex-girlfriend.

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Matt and Sally The Paragraph Genre Hoppers

Matt and Sally were hit suddenly by the most important fact of life: that love is all that matters. They looked into each others eyes and felt a spark that resonated deeply in their souls. They had found what everyone longs to find, love. They kissed passionately and then made love for hours before finally falling asleep in each others arms.

Sally jolted upright in bed as she heard the sound of Melissa, her dead sister. Could it really be her? She listened again as a deathly squeal echoed through the room. "Go to sleep", said Matt, but she couldn't, because she feared they might take her away like they did when she was a child. It was a fear that never went away, and the haunting sound of her dead sister brought it all back again.

In the morning they set off on a glorious trek through the mountainside. The world opened up in front of them as they stormed through the unpredictable hills and violent rainstorms. Trees fell and winds blew hard but Matt was determined to continue on the great adventure.

The Ghuliau tribe were ready. Deep trenches surrounded the area. If Matt and Sally were to make it through, they'd have to take down the Ghuliaus. Matt stared through his binoculars and saw what was waiting. He signalled to Sally. There was only one thing left to do: battle.

Sally's experience as an undercover cop made her the perfect candidate to investigate her sister's death, but the higher ups at the NYPD refused to allow it. Sally didn't think this was in the NYPD's jurisdiction and she had a point considering they live in Liverpool, England. Sally was a tough cookie and determined to find her sister's killer. She also wanted to eat a cookie, which is why it's so coincidental that she was described as being as a tough cookie. She decided to take on the case against the advice of her buddies on the force.

Matt fired a shot which missed Sally's head by an inch. He dived behind the car and immediately stripped down to his vest. He'd killed the sister and he could kill Sally too. Sally was having none of it and immediately went searching for a ventilation shaft to crawl through. It was the only way to escape.

Matt stepped quietly across the road and climbed onto Elroy, his horse. This old boy had seen Matt through some tough days. Some might say the toughest darn days the folks round here had ever seen. He turned to look back at the town one last time. Sally sure was a great gal, but Matt knew he had to make a home in some place that was a little more friendly to his kind.

Sally longed for a return to Planet Snizenfort. Earth was fun for a while, but she missed the home-baked cookies. She looked desperately for the Fruden Disc Displacer which was the only thing that could fire her back home.

The End

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My Top 5 Spike Lee Joints

1. When The Levees Broke: A Requiem In Four Acts

2. Mo Better Blues

3. He Got Game

4. 25th Hour

5. Jungle Fever

What are yours?

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