I don't really care how much the latest superhero film took at the box office, although I'd probably know if you asked me. When I watch a film the main thing I am looking for is a good story. I like it when I look up at the big screen and can see a part of me staring back at me. More than anything, I am still looking for Jimmy Stewart and Jack Lemmon and Billy Wilder in every film I see.
Setting the scene: Ally is getting insecure about Larry's feelings at the beginning of their relationship. In her office after a case, Larry tries to set her straight.
LARRY: Uh, look, Ally. I, uh -- I know you're probably wondering why things maybe haven't err, accelerated as fast as as maybe, y'know last week, I-I opened up to you more than I ever-- it was exhilarating and uh, a little scary. And it's -- uh--
ALLY: Scared you.
Well I'm not afraid of this, I'm really really excited, if you only knew, how. I'm doing a lousy job of explaining it.
No you're not. You wanna take it really slow because you want it to be right. Well, slow doesn't bother me Larry. You and me we're gonna get there and we should just enjoy the ride.
I've done this before: Said, "Hey I'm taking a break!" and then I immediately write fifty posts in three days. I think that happens sometimes; you give yourself permission to stop and then by doing so you relieve the pressure to perform. It's a bit like sex, but even then, 50 times in 3 days is a little much even for me.
But I am aware that I am a little burned out on the blogging front. Burned out because, I put a lot of pressure on myself to write really well, and most of the time I think I do write well -- but these past few weeks I think many of my posts have been on auto-pilot, a feeling backed up by the lack of interaction from you guys.
It may be a one week break, it may be a month. It may only be four hours. But I'm officially letting myself off the hook and we'll see what happens. It's also the case that I have more work going on than possibly at any point since I started this blog. I've been getting home late after a day of writing or meeting about writing or getting notes about my writing; and I feel obliged to blog --- but the juice isn't there. So now is perhaps not the time to be blogging.
It's time to move on, it's time to get going,
What lies ahead I have no way of knowing.
But under my feet baby, grass is growing,
It's time to move on, time to get going.
I had to delay calling my friend yesterday as I was walking home, because I had to listen to this song another four times. Weird how a song can do that sometimes. When I finally called her I was saying how sad it is that we don't get as flat out moved by songs and movies as much as we did when we were seventeen. She agreed.
I sense that 'Just Breathe' is one of Pearl Jam's most known songs, but I don't know? I never knew it before. I'm a bit weird like that. My knowledge of music and film is rarely in keeping with everyone else. Sometimes I discover a song and love it and people say "Ummm - it's been on the radio every day for four years" I'm just kind of oblivious. I suspect that "Just Breathe" Is not particularly famous, but then I don't know.
The song really had me stumped -- it was communicating something to me and I wasn't quite sure what. I still feel the same. And of course, songs get wrapped up in what you're feeling and going through in your life. The first line is:
Yes I understand,
That every life must end aw-huh.
The song isn't just about death. I mean, maybe it is; but there's also something romantic about it, there's life in it. But death just happened to be the theme of the day, and this song fit the theme perfectly. Prior to listening to it six times on the way home, I was having dinner at my friend Stephanie's house. We traditionally talk about everything, and this time was no exception -- except we started talking about death and what we think happens afterwards.
After I left Stephanie's and after I called Anna, I found myself at home, on Facebook, obsessively reading the Facebook wall of a friend of mine, an actress, whose husband had just died. I was hooked -- couldn't stop reading her heartbreaking statuses and those of her friends and loved ones. Facebook somehow makes death even more public and in your face than ever before. I couldn't help but look at pictures of her and her husband -- he looked so young and healthy. How can life do that? Take you away and off into the darkness? Even if there is a heaven or a meeting point of some kind, everyone on Earth is left with the ghosts of people who disappeared.
I'm a lucky man to count on both hands the ones I love
Some folks just have one, yeah others they got none, aw huh
Stay with me, oh let's just breathe
Somehow 'Just Breathe' captured everything I was feeling. How often does a song do that? Not often enough. But that's why music is important. That's why we love it. Not just to have something to listen to as a way of passing time. We love it because occasionally it's everything.
Setting The Scene: Claire Colburn, a flight attendant, met Drew Baylor as he made his way across the country to make arrangements for his Father's funeral. Feeling an attachment towards him, Claire gave him her number. Late at night, feeling the need for company, Drew gives Claire a call, and a quick hello turns into an all night conversation.
CLAIRE: It will hit you. It could be ten minutes, or it could be ten years from now, so it's good that you talk about it, or don't talk about it. Well, we have talked about it, but, that's what they say. DREW: That's what they say, huh? Yes, that's what they say. I've always wondered this -- who are they? Y'know, them. Them. The inimitable collective. Them. And who says we're supposed to listen to them? They do. Doesn't your ear hurt? Yes, it does. And I have to get up in two hours and be charming. I'm going to Hawaii. You'll get there and have fun. I'll get there and sleep. It's just a little vacation I traded routes for..... I'll let you go. Wait. Um, when will you be back? ... Hello? Still there? Yeah. I'm just wondering if this whole thing is better on the phone. It's so much better on the phone. Maybe we should never face each other again.
I love that this place exists, even though I've only been here twice.
I guess that's the problem with small one screen cinemas that show 'This Is Spinal Tap', how often do you really go? I blog about independent film and about 'being an artist' every day, yet do I live it all the time?
No I don't.
This cinema isn't too far from me and I could come here more often. It gives me a buzz just walking past it. It looks how a cinema should look. It looks how they look in the movies. It's Cinema Paradiso right here in Islington, London.
To be honest I do have an excuse for never going here. I found it when I was going for a walk with a girlfriend many years ago. We saw a documentary and promised never to visit the cinema without each other. Weird how you remember things like that. I wonder if she's been here since.
I say 'here' because I'm literally standing opposite it and blogging from my phone. I love that this place exists and I hope it's surviving well. I would go see a movie but I have a meeting in six minutes and then I'm off to East London for dinner with a friend. I need to come back soon, and preferably not with the ex-girlfriend.
