From the article: Thinking & Dreaming: In Search Of Me At 13
Friday, 25 November 2011
KidInTheFrontRowIsm #1
Your favorite movie is your favorite movie because it's your favorite movie. It is better than the movie that you just thought up - by virtue of the fact that it actually exists. Someone dared to make it. Before that, someone dared to write it. And as you count up the times you chickened out of writing a film, as you count up all the scattered 3-pages of notes that pop up in random corners of your home --- the realization dawns; the ugly voice in your head telling you that you suck is COMPLETELY RIGHT; up until the point you ignore him, or at least send him out for groceries and get on with writing. At some point, before the day you die; you may as well just at least attempt to write what is truly in your heart, or at least go in search of it. Because only then can you, or a producer, or anyone, do anything with it.
Gender and The Rom-Com
November 19th-December 19th 2011 is Rom-Com Season at Kid In The Front Row.
Men aren't allowed to like rom-coms. This is the rule. If the girlfriend wants to watch a rom-com then the man can watch it but he has to say "she made me watch it". If the man doesn't have a girlfriend then he needs to say "I watched it so that if I ever get a girlfriend I'll have something to talk about". Men have to watch action films and sports films and films about sport with action in them. Transgendered people have to watch documentaries only.
The rules are bizarre and nobody understands them. Men are not meant to watch rom-coms and if they do they're not meant to admit to it. What happens if you're watching an action film and it starts to get romantic? What if you're watching hardcore porn and they begin to talk about their feelings?
Men get uncomfortable talking about rom-coms. It's like talking about your bowel movements or talking about how often you cut your toenails, it's just not something you ever do. It is customary, when asked about a rom-com, to say "I don't really watch them, to be honest".
If a man does watch a rom-com it is to be assumed that he is a woman, or gay, or that he accidentally sat on the remote control during 'Die Hard'.
Romantic Comedies are not allowed to be in your top 5 movies lists, otherwise you will be outcast by all the other people within your gender. Top 5 lists are allowed to have awkward cult films, and they can have 'I-know-it's-lame-but-I-love-it' films, just as long as they're not romantic. If, when asked about your favorite films, you say you love 'One Fine Day' or 'Ghost' or 'Pretty Woman', you immediately need to take back what you said and replace it with 'Pulp Fiction' or 'Donnie Darko'. Everyone is allowed to say they like 'Donnie Darko', because nobody knows what it's about, which therefore means it's genius and acceptable to the male gender.
If, despite your best efforts, you still watch and enjoy a rom-com. You can get away with it by saying "It wasn't that bad actually". This implies that it was not terrible, but that you did not want to watch it.
Every film ever made has a value in terms of social approval and significance. You must make sure you choose from the appropriate list, otherwise you run the risk of being a free-thinker and individual. If you happen to truly love a rom-com, then you will be told that you're a sheep and that you like dumb rom-coms like everyone else, even though nobody else loves them or is at least not allowed to say they love them because if they do they will be outcast.
If you want to be a man then you must not feel free enough within your gender to watch films that include romance. You must stick within a small perimeter which has in it only action films, sex-comedies and more action films. If you admit to liking romantic films, then you will be excluded from the gender immediately.
Men aren't allowed to like rom-coms. This is the rule. If the girlfriend wants to watch a rom-com then the man can watch it but he has to say "she made me watch it". If the man doesn't have a girlfriend then he needs to say "I watched it so that if I ever get a girlfriend I'll have something to talk about". Men have to watch action films and sports films and films about sport with action in them. Transgendered people have to watch documentaries only.
The rules are bizarre and nobody understands them. Men are not meant to watch rom-coms and if they do they're not meant to admit to it. What happens if you're watching an action film and it starts to get romantic? What if you're watching hardcore porn and they begin to talk about their feelings?
Men get uncomfortable talking about rom-coms. It's like talking about your bowel movements or talking about how often you cut your toenails, it's just not something you ever do. It is customary, when asked about a rom-com, to say "I don't really watch them, to be honest".
If a man does watch a rom-com it is to be assumed that he is a woman, or gay, or that he accidentally sat on the remote control during 'Die Hard'.
Romantic Comedies are not allowed to be in your top 5 movies lists, otherwise you will be outcast by all the other people within your gender. Top 5 lists are allowed to have awkward cult films, and they can have 'I-know-it's-lame-but-I-love-it' films, just as long as they're not romantic. If, when asked about your favorite films, you say you love 'One Fine Day' or 'Ghost' or 'Pretty Woman', you immediately need to take back what you said and replace it with 'Pulp Fiction' or 'Donnie Darko'. Everyone is allowed to say they like 'Donnie Darko', because nobody knows what it's about, which therefore means it's genius and acceptable to the male gender.
If, despite your best efforts, you still watch and enjoy a rom-com. You can get away with it by saying "It wasn't that bad actually". This implies that it was not terrible, but that you did not want to watch it.
Every film ever made has a value in terms of social approval and significance. You must make sure you choose from the appropriate list, otherwise you run the risk of being a free-thinker and individual. If you happen to truly love a rom-com, then you will be told that you're a sheep and that you like dumb rom-coms like everyone else, even though nobody else loves them or is at least not allowed to say they love them because if they do they will be outcast.
If you want to be a man then you must not feel free enough within your gender to watch films that include romance. You must stick within a small perimeter which has in it only action films, sex-comedies and more action films. If you admit to liking romantic films, then you will be excluded from the gender immediately.
15
It's kind of funny
You're 15 years old
And dive head first into your passions
The years trickle on and
For a while
You watch every movie
You read every book
And everything's a dream
Later on
The rejections come
You sign a bad deal
The girlfriend leaves you
The world signals a no
But you know what you love
You just can't reach it
But you can almost see it
You fly through the years
You fight your battles
And you search and hope and chase
That thing
That you had
When you were 15.
Thursday, 24 November 2011
HOME ALONE WTF With My Friend Carl
INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
I'm eating. Carl is eating. Craig is playing a game on his iPhone, oblivious to everything.
I'm eating. Carl is eating. Craig is playing a game on his iPhone, oblivious to everything.
CARL
Did you see 'Home Alone' the other night?
KID
It was on TV?
CARL
Yeah. The first and the second film.
KID
It's too early.
CARL
Definitely too early.
KID
What the hell were they thinking?
CARL
I know.
KID
They do this every year. Everyone knows 'Home Alone' should be on TV about four days before Christmas.
CARL
Not in November.
KID
Never in November.
CARL
Who are the people who schedule TV shows, do you know them?
KID
I don't know them. I don't know anyone who thinks 'Home Alone' should be shown in November.
CARL
Same here.
KID
They've ruined Christmas.
CARL
They've ruined Christmas.
KID
Home Alone should be shown four days before Christmas.
CARL
What about Christmas eve?
KID
I have no problem with Christmas eve. You know what I have a problem with?
CARL
The bird woman.
KID
Nobody likes the bird woman. We have New York City, why do we need the bird woman?
CARL
They should screen the bird-woman parts in November and everything else in December, four days before Christmas.
KID
You know what else they should have in the second film?
CARL
What?
KID
Fuller drinking Pepsi.
CARL
Definitely.
KID
I don't feel I can enjoy Christmas this year.
CARL
You don't even watch it on TV, you have it on DVD.
KID
I only have it because the TV people keep messing it up.
CARL
But why do you care?
KID
Because you don't show it in November. It's the rule. Everybody knows the rule.
The 'Home Alone Conversation' is something that seems to happen every year. Read the one from last year here.
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
Words
I have nothing to say, but I want to write. Ever have that feeling?
So I'm just going to write.
I'm in the research stage for one project, I'm in post-production on another, and in the rehearsal stage for something else.
What I just wrote makes me sound productive but a huge part of me always feels like I'm doing nothing.
The research stage for a writing assignment is actually quite exciting, because you sense the possibilities. In your research you dig for juice, dig for things that resonate.
Post-production is tricky. Editing is like a half eaten box of chocolates. You don't have all the flavors you want, but there are still some great ones in there. During filming you lose some of your vision but you gain the vision of your collaborators and somewhere therein lies the art. That's filmmaking.
The rehearsal was just for a little side project, a piece of fun. We worked through it on Skype. Was enjoyable but my internet connection always goes crazy during Skype calls, I'm sure it does it on purpose. The conversations start getting ten second delays, if not longer. Maybe I should make a time travelling Skype movie.
I found time to go for a run today. How to motivate yourself? Run towards a cinema. It worked for me. I saw "Tower Heist". And then I jogged home. It was a long run. My legs were angry because they weren't expecting to work so hard, but that's the way it goes.
"Tower Heist" is watchable enough. That's all I have to say about it.
I was having a meal with Anna yesterday in Primrose Hill. I say 'with Anna' as if you all know who she is, but you don't, at least; I assume you don't. Anyway, I had dinner with Anna, who's an actress, and we were talking about friendship and work. It's interesting, because so often the lines of friendship are confused when you both work in the industry. How much of it is real and how much of it is done for the sake of wanting a role in a movie or something similar? It's tricky.
I was explaining a thing that always bugs me-- how many actors I've known have claimed we have a 'Special relationship', they say things like "I'm the Keaton to your Woody Allen!".
People want to be on the inside, they want you to feel like you've got a special relationship, because then you're more likely to give them work. But when it comes down to it, there's no special relationship, they don't put the work in, they just want it to seem that way.
I have maybe four friends in the industry (Anna is one of them) who I'm happy to say we have that kind of relationship, because pretty much every day we consult each other on our decisions (creatively and practically), and we make the effort to help each others projects. Many people say they want involvement, want to do the work, but for most people it's just a thing they say.
I tried watching 'The Exorcist' tonight but it was so darn slow. I don't remember it being this slow?
My best writing comes when I'm caught somewhere between conscious thought and dreaming. It's a magical place that I can't always get to. Right now, I'm nowhere near it. I'm stuck in the real world. It's exciting though, waiting for that trigger. I never know what it will be, but when it comes, the writing is better.
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