Monday, 28 November 2011

Den du frygter (Fear Me Not)

I love Danish films. Ulrich Thomsen is one of my favorite actors. He is able to play normal. Normal is really difficult to find in an actor, but he nails it. Having said that, his characters are always crazy! He got known after the film 'Festen', and I've been hooked on his work ever since.


What I love about Danish cinema is how real it is. How much it grips you. 'Fear Me Not' (Danish Title: Den Du Frygter) could never be made in America or the UK. I just don't think we have the capability. We see movies in a different way. The film is subtle and nuanced to a remarkable degree. The problem is, most directors try to be 'subtle'. It's an artistic choice. With Danish movies, it's just their way. The culture. The rhythm. 

'Fear Me Not' is an insane film to watch because, for a while, it's so relaxed and mundane that you're almost certain you're bored, but you don't realise you've been watching for fifty minutes already, just completely sinking into it. And then there's a twist. Not a Hollywood twist, not an oh-look-how-clever-we-are-twist, it's just a twist. Just like in real life, you think you know what a thing is and then it turns into the other thing. 

And that's why, if you're making a film in Denmark, you want Ulrich Thomsen in it, because we believe in him. And we relate to him. The problem with Hollywood is that when you relate to someone, they always have a moral reason for doing something. And if they don't, then rather than leave us dangling in uncertainty, we get reminded that they've lost their mental faculties. It's like with 'Taxi Driver', you relate to De Niro at first, and then he starts to go a bit mad and then you feel on edge. It'd be great to be left on this edge, but unfortunately he gets taken to bigger extremes and we learn to see him and judge him from afar. 

But not in 'Fear Me Not'. We see a character living the mundane life, in a marriage and home that's causing him frustration, and we relate to it. And then he does something despicable, disgusting, outrageous. And suddenly we're very tense, as we watch, because it wasn't expected at all. And we want to hate him, want to judge him, but we can't, because the edge is so perfectly balanced. 

And for the rest of the movie we're glued. We want to know what he'll do. When the next bomb will drop. And the bombs keep dropping. But they're not actual bombs like in a Hollywood movie, they're just the things he says and does to people. We cringe, but we keep watching. 

Towards the end, the twist comes. The twist is not even a twist so much as it's a fact we find out, and it changes our whole perception of Thomsen's character. It was the same in 'Festen' and the same in 'The Inheritance' (Danish Title: Arven); there were very real characters, going through very real problems, and then they deal with them slightly differently to what we expect, to what we're used to. But we're engrossed, because it's so believable. 

I don't know how they get the actors to be so good in these Danish movies. Paprika Steen is the female version of Thomsen (not surprising that they collaborate often). She's so truthful, so real. You're just mesmerised. All of the moments between the characters pull you in; you're there with them and you totally forget about your problems and your Tweets, you're in the movie. They're masters at what they do.




This film is fascinating. It's disturbing. It's tense. It's dramatic. You relate to some of it, and other parts you hope you don't relate to. Thomsen and Steen are so real and so natural that you totally buy into everything. They could suddenly discover aliens half way through, and you'd believe them. That's how good they are. 

A great film. Danish films are not for everyone, but give them a go. If you end up liking them, you'll rediscover your passion for films and storytelling all over again. 

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Friday, 25 November 2011

KidInTheFrontRowIsm #1

Your favorite movie is your favorite movie because it's your favorite movie. It is better than the movie that you just thought up - by virtue of the fact that it actually exists. Someone dared to make it. Before that, someone dared to write it. And as you count up the times you chickened out of writing a film, as you count up all the scattered 3-pages of notes that pop up in random corners of your home --- the realization dawns; the ugly voice in your head telling you that you suck is COMPLETELY RIGHT; up until the point you ignore him, or at least send him out for groceries and get on with writing. At some point, before the day you die; you may as well just at least attempt to write what is truly in your heart, or at least go in search of it. Because only then can you, or a producer, or anyone, do anything with it.


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Gender and The Rom-Com

November 19th-December 19th 2011 is Rom-Com Season at Kid In The Front Row.

Men aren't allowed to like rom-coms. This is the rule. If the girlfriend wants to watch a rom-com then the man can watch it but he has to say "she made me watch it". If the man doesn't have a girlfriend then he needs to say "I watched it so that if I ever get a girlfriend I'll have something to talk about". Men have to watch action films and sports films and films about sport with action in them. Transgendered people have to watch documentaries only.

The rules are bizarre and nobody understands them. Men are not meant to watch rom-coms and if they do they're not meant to admit to it. What happens if you're watching an action film and it starts to get romantic? What if you're watching hardcore porn and they begin to talk about their feelings?

Men get uncomfortable talking about rom-coms. It's like talking about your bowel movements or talking about how often you cut your toenails, it's just not something you ever do. It is customary, when asked about a rom-com, to say "I don't really watch them, to be honest".


If a man does watch a rom-com it is to be assumed that he is a woman, or gay, or that he accidentally sat on the remote control during 'Die Hard'.

Romantic Comedies are not allowed to be in your top 5 movies lists, otherwise you will be outcast by all the other people within your gender. Top 5 lists are allowed to have awkward cult films, and they can have 'I-know-it's-lame-but-I-love-it' films, just as long as they're not romantic. If, when asked about your favorite films, you say you love 'One Fine Day' or 'Ghost' or 'Pretty Woman', you immediately need to take back what you said and replace it with 'Pulp Fiction' or 'Donnie Darko'. Everyone is allowed to say they like 'Donnie Darko', because nobody knows what it's about, which therefore means it's genius and acceptable to the male gender.

If, despite your best efforts, you still watch and enjoy a rom-com. You can get away with it by saying "It wasn't that bad actually". This implies that it was not terrible, but that you did not want to watch it.

Every film ever made has a value in terms of social approval and significance. You must make sure you choose from the appropriate list, otherwise you run the risk of being a free-thinker and individual. If you happen to truly love a rom-com, then you will be told that you're a sheep and that you like dumb rom-coms like everyone else, even though nobody else loves them or is at least not allowed to say they love them because if they do they will be outcast.

If you want to be a man then you must not feel free enough within your gender to watch films that include romance. You must stick within a small perimeter which has in it only action films, sex-comedies and more action films. If you admit to liking romantic films, then you will be excluded from the gender immediately.

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15

It's kind of funny
You're 15 years old
And dive head first into your passions
The years trickle on and
For a while
You watch every movie
You read every book
And everything's a dream

Later on
The rejections come
You sign a bad deal
The girlfriend leaves you

The world signals a no
But you know what you love
You just can't reach it
But you can almost see it

You fly through the years
You fight your battles
And you search and hope and chase
That thing
That you had
When you were 15.

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Thursday, 24 November 2011

HOME ALONE WTF With My Friend Carl

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
I'm eating. Carl is eating. Craig is playing a game on his iPhone, oblivious to everything. 


CARL 
Did you see 'Home Alone' the other night? 

KID
It was on TV? 

CARL
Yeah. The first and the second film. 

KID
It's too early. 

CARL 
Definitely too early. 

KID 
What the hell were they thinking? 

CARL 
I know. 


KID 
They do this every year. Everyone knows 'Home Alone' should be on TV about four days before Christmas. 

CARL 
Not in November. 

KID 
Never in November. 

CARL
Who are the people who schedule TV shows, do you know them?

KID 
I don't know them. I don't know anyone who thinks 'Home Alone' should be shown in November. 

CARL 
Same here. 

KID
They've ruined Christmas. 

CARL 
They've ruined Christmas. 

KID 
Home Alone should be shown four days before Christmas. 

CARL
What about Christmas eve? 

KID 
I have no problem with Christmas eve. You know what I have a problem with?

CARL 
The bird woman. 


KID
Nobody likes the bird woman. We have New York City, why do we need the bird woman? 

CARL 
They should screen the bird-woman parts in November and everything else in December, four days before Christmas. 

KID 
You know what else they should have in the second film?

CARL
What? 

KID
Fuller drinking Pepsi. 

CARL 
Definitely. 



KID 
I don't feel I can enjoy Christmas this year. 

CARL 
You don't even watch it on TV, you have it on DVD.

KID 
I only have it because the TV people keep messing it up.

CARL 
But why do you care? 

KID 
Because you don't show it in November. It's the rule. Everybody knows the rule. 

The 'Home Alone Conversation' is something that seems to happen every year. Read the one from last year here

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