Independence, 2

The other thing is that people are always trying to figure out what it is to get into the system, how to get past the gatekeepers. They spend more energy on the struggle than on their art.

Everyone I've met who's been super successful has a huge amount of talent and passion.

If someone is bitching about the industry, you can be pretty sure the problem isn't the industry, it's that the individual just hasn't nailed it yet, they're not ready, they're trying to skip a step.

Nobody is trying to keep anyone out. It's just a lot of people trying to get things made.

Prove your worth on YouTube. Get an audience. If someone on facebook doesn't give a shit, why will the studios? There are blogs that have a million readers, and there are blogs like mine that have a thousand. I could get jealous or grumpy or moan about some injustice but the truth is, I'm blessed to have the readership I have and if my writing ever deserves a bigger audience, you guys will share my work, that's how it always goes.

No-one is trying to keep you out. No-one cares about you.

You need to keep practicing and showing up until you tick a box.

Or get so good that you create a box only you can tick.

Or give up.

Just stop fucking moaning.

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Independence

It's near impossible, there's always someone who wants you to align with their product. And they'll pay you $200 to put their advert about toothpaste on your site. Or they'll invite you to the premiere and treat you like you're important so that you'll write a positive review.

Everyone is so quick to cash in. And it's not always for money, sometimes it's just for a minor status bump.

But then you have to ask, who the hell can we trust? Who is speaking in our name?

The thing about being independent, about keeping your own path, is that it gives you power. And it might only be a tiny tiny power. Literally, just the power to have your own opinions.

But that's great, and could lead anywhere!

And then some film website with thousands of readers wants you to write for them. So then your readership gets transferred to their domain. They get the advertising revenue, they get the loyalty. You're just one of the cogs. I've seen great writers take the bait, leaving their blogs behind to go write for another site, little do they know they're just churning out content to earn other people money and help them climb the Google rankings. It's all a big scam.

There used to be DJ's on the radio who had their own voices. There used to be bands who had something to say. There were actors who had something to give us.

Now people think in terms of success and earnings, and they immediately become uninteresting.

Don't sell out until it's absolutely essential. There's too much at stake.

And sure people will disagree with this and talk about 'the realities of the industry', and you don't need to tell me, I get it, believe me.

My point is that if you win 'X Factor', you're an overnight success, and then after that you're toast, done, the road is over. You're opening supermarkets and doing nightclub visits.

You may have had talent, but you had no learning curve.

But if you're a singer with a following of 100 people, who is writing songs every night, you're on to something. You've not been defined yet.. you get to keep growing.

The world needs artists. It needs people who are REAL. The ones who change the creative industries and do work of meaning are never the ones you think.

Speak to any successful musician in America and they'll talk about Ryan Adams and Harry Nilsson, yet the public hardly know they exist! It's like the way Woody Allen still gets talked about and referred to by absolutely everyone in the film industry, because his work changed everything.

But people don't want to be Woody Allen or Harry Nilsson. They want to be stars, they want the red carpet.

In film and music, the interesting people are the independents. It's just like when Louis C.K. took the unprecedented move of filming and distributing his new stand up show independently. It changed our views of distribution, made us see how anything is possible.

I'm not saying to turn down the big pay-cheque-soulless jobs, cause we all need the money! You gotta do what you gotta do.

I'm just saying, keep an eye on the real stuff. What's in your heart. Cause it's a rarity these days. And it's that stuff that changes the world.

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COUNTING CROWS - The Band That Changed My Life

I'd never heard anything like it before. I never knew it was possible. I didn't know you could put that much emotion into what you do. I still don't think anybody else has ever come close.

The fear that you'll never find the love of your life is a terrifying one. But even worse: what if you never find the band of your life? Genuinely, I don't know what I would have done without Counting Crows. They gave me a new angle on life. They painted the way for how I would value myself as an artist, about what it would all mean to me. How many people can you say that about?

The records are incredible, and I insist you listen to all of them. But the Crows are a live band. What I love as a writer, director and even a viewer of films is rawness, realness, spontaneity. And that's also what I always loved about music, but it was so hard to find. And then I found Counting Crows. 

You know what? Sometimes they SUCK! Sometimes Adam Duritz, the lead singer, is miserable, depressed, and just not on it. But it's FASCINATING! It's REAL! He just gets up onto the stage and pours his heart out in front of you. Occasionally you get fooled into thinking it's just a shtick, but then he'll come out bouncing and be wild and hilarious -- other times he won't talk to the audience but they'll do a seventeen minute version of a rare song with a bit of a Springsteen cover thrown into the middle -- and you're just blown away. Counting Crows don't paint over anything, there's no front, it's just them. 

Listen to this. Stop reading, dim the lights. Give 12 minutes of your life to this. You might love it, you might cry, you might think it sucks. But by the end you'll definitely have an opinion, and that's more than you can say for so much that passes for music these days.



That song changed my life. I got obsessed with 'Round Here'. I have, literally, hundreds of versions. I remember seeing them live in Ireland, it must've been eight or ten years ago, and they did 'Round Here', and it was heartbreaking. That was until the middle of the song, when they broke it down, changed it up, and launched into the Van Morrison song 'Sweet Thing', and it was electrifying and joyful! At the end of the song they swerved back into 'Round Here'. Incredible. You think you know a song inside out, but then Counting Crows take it and reinvent it and your whole perception of everything changes. 

Even if they sing 'Rain King' with Springsteen's 'Thunder Road' mixed in for five nights in a row -- even that is spontaneous-- because one night they'll do the whole song, other nights Adam will just hint at the lyrics for five seconds then dive off into another song -- or maybe they'll do the whole thing acoustic and Adam will do some weird talking-screaming-poetic-rambling thing for eleven minutes. Probably sounds horrendous if you're not a fan -- but for those that are, it's EVERYTHING.

I don't know any band that takes you so far into the very MOMENT that you're experiencing. They make you aware you're LIVING. I've wanted to write this post for three years, but how the hell do you explain the things you love?

Here's a stripped down version that they did on the Howard Stern show a few years ago. Just Adam and a few band members.




When do you ever hear something like THAT on the RADIO? It never happens! WHAT? That level of emotion and truth? They're not phoning it in, they're IN IT. It's so refreshing - artists who are FREE to be themselves. With Counting Crows it is ALL about expression. You feel it in every thing that every band member does.

Sure, they do it for a living, and they got very rich. But it would have been so easy for them to go on auto-pilot. But they take risks. They dropped the label and went independent so they could control their art. They play giant venues, they tour tiny venues. They come up with crazy ideas like the Travelling Circus and Medicine Show, and Adam's project with Ryan from Ryan's Smashing Life blog, The Outlaw Roadshow.

They're great with the fans, too. I've been at festivals, turned around and seen Jim Bogios and David Immerglück (band members) standing behind me. And you go to awkwardly say hello, just cause you're a loser fanboy, and then they stick around and talk to you for thirty minutes about all their favourite bands. With Duritz, I've always sensed he's a bit like Woody Allen -- awkward with the crowds and would prefer to not have his picture taken - but he is always polite and always suffers it. He knows it's about the fans, he knows how much they care; so he puts in the time and effort.

But his place is really on the stage. He'll come out at the beginning and do a solo piano song, which is a cover of some track he found on the bootleg of a copy of an album of a band you've never heard of who only ever recorded six demo's, 24 years ago, yet somehow his performance is the greatest thing you've ever heard. It's just incredible.

Here's a song that was only ever played once. This is the only recording. I'm pretty sure Duritz made it up about thirty minutes before the show. The emotion just knocks your socks off. Makes me think of every girl I ever saw leave. Heartbreaking.




How the hell does he do that? Is it talent? Did he get dropped on the head as a child? Incredible.

Counting Crows are rough, raw, temperamental, moody, genius, depressing, uplifting, boring, exhilarating. It's years later and still they're my favourite band by a long long way. You have to see them live, there's nothing like it.




Their new album, 'Underwater Sunshine (Or What We did On Our Summer Vacation)' was released today. Head over to their website to check it out.

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FRIENDS WITH KIDS - The Scene That Made It All Worth It

Sometimes the concept can get in the way of the story.

'Friends with Kids' has a concept that it struggles to handle. The concept is: Two friends, who have no attraction to each other but have never found the 'right one', decide to have a baby together (because they both want kids). They share the responsibility, and they are both free to go on dating and living their lives, without having a depressing marriage that's ruined by kids -- like all of their friends.

Having a good concept is important, and this one is intriguing. But Jennifer Westfeldt (the writer, director and star) has a hard time taking us there.

Let me skip ahead and say: some of this film is fantastic. The latter end of the film really resonates and has a lot of truths about life, and it's acted and directed wonderfully.

But it takes a huge leap of faith to get there, because the first half of the movie is trying to sell the concept to us. It's played out like a quirky rom-com, where the two main characters help each other with their dating and sex lives, while always being a little bit above their friends by staying a little detached.

BUT WE KNOW THEY'RE GOING TO END UP TOGETHER!

Of course, we always know that in these types of films. But you gotta give us a reason why they might NOT end up together, they need some road blocks in the way. Julie (Jennifer Westfeldt) and Jason (Adam Scott) have a child together, they care deeply about each other, they're best friends and they're beautiful people --- we know where it's headed, no surprises. So when they then they go out dating-- they're fooling no-one, apart from theirselves. But it's really hard for the audience to buy that!

But the film gets great.

Julie meets a great guy, Kurt (Ed Burns), and Jason begins dating an actress, Mary Jane (Megan Fox). Meanwhile, they have a kid to raise. What makes it interesting is the layers, the complexities. Kurt is a normal guy, who struggles to grasp their set-up. Mary Jane is a young sexy actress, and Jason's wiping baby shit off his clothes. Suddenly -- the dynamic feels real, it feels honest. It takes half of the movie for the concept to actually work.

The golden scene is the dinner scene.

Jason and Julie were always judgemental of their friends and their lifestyles -- they had a problem with how ordinary and dysfunctional they were. But now their relationships are struggling, and they're trying to bring a child up in this mad way. It all comes to a head at dinner - when every relationship at the table implodes.

Everyone is unhappy. Everyone has resentments. Suddenly this feels like life!

It's handled beautifully. Kristen Wiig puts the comedy aside and takes us to the heart of matters. And Jon Hamm is so good and so harsh that he's PAINFUL to watch. The characters are protecting each other one moment, and then ruining each other the next. The complexity is riveting.

There are ghosts in the room. Ghosts of all the things they've never said to each other. You ever had that? A group of friends, or family, and the conflict is simply this: no-one says what they really feel! I remember a few years back I was going through a really difficult time with one of my best friends, because we just didn't grasp each other. I saw him as this guy who got old before his time, caring about wallpaper and a mortgage rather than life! And he saw me as this wishy washy film kid who was sitting at home all day watching movies. We were both wrong! But we only realised this when we talked about it. There's always more to the story.

The real ghost in the room is the love between Julia and Jason. Luckily, by now it is REAL and COMPLEX, and the quirky bullshit rom-com of the first quarter of the film has literally vanished, and it's all the better for it.

Whoever you are, you'll see yourself in this room. Are you Kurt (Ed Burns), the practical guy who is trying to figure out the nuts and bolts of the arrangement? Are you Ben (Jon Hamm) who thinks they're irresponsible? Are you Leslie (Maya Rudolph) who's trying to brush over everything and pretend there's no problem? Or are you the nice guy, Alex (Chris O'Dowd), who's not really strong enough to get involved and have an opinion?

And then the ghost gets addressed.

It starts with Ben challenging them:

BEN 

Seriously, you guys didn't think ANY of this through. You made a totally irresponsible decision, about a kid! And yeah Joe is fine, now, he's 1. But you really think he's going to be okay when he finds out his parents never loved him, even when they had him? 

Jason gets defensive, he challenges them about their own kid.

JASON 

You really think Troy's doing great around two people who fucking hate each other? 

They're attacking each other, they're fighting, and you can't take your eyes of it. But the bickering and shouting and judgements are futile. And then it happens.

JASON

You think that I haven't thought this through? You think that we don't love each other? I have loved this girl for 19 years, Ben. That is fully half my life. I know everything there is to know about her. I know the mood she's in when she wakes up in the morning. Always happy, ready for the day, can you imagine? I know that she is honest, she won't even take the little shampoo bottles from the hotel room, or sneak into the movie theater for a double feature, she always buys a second ticket-- always. I know that we have the same values. We have the same tastes, we have the same sense of humour. I know that we both think that organised religion is completely full of shit. I know that if she is ever paralysed from the neck down she would like me to unplug her, and I will. I know her position on just about everything, and I am on board. I am on board with everything about her. So you tell me Ben, what better woman could I have picked to be the Mother of my child, seriously? What more responsible choice could I have made? Fucking Prick. 

There's more to the scene. I don't want to spoil everything. It's that complexity and honesty, not just between the lead characters but the whole ensemble, that makes everything suddenly fascinating. Ultimately, that is what makes Jennifer Westfeldt's work interesting: the honesty. It was the same with 'Kissing Jessica Stein', a film about a straight woman who suddenly finds an interest in a another woman. The concept wasn't a clever as it thought it was, but the honest moments still found their way through.

Maybe this is what Jennifer needs to do to get funding, to do films independently of the studios. Has to cook up an 'out there' concept. Ultimately, 'Friends with Kids' repeatedly struggles with its concept. Yet within it, there are some hugely brilliant moments in it that capture who we are as adults, parents, and people who don't want to get old. 

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A Pro Goes To The Track Alone

I'm reading 'Post Office', the Charles Bukowski novel. This bit really hit me. He's talking about trying to focus on the racing, when all the other men are focusing on the girl he's with.

"But fighting the wolves and the horses at the same time  was too much for me. I kept losing. A pro goes to the track alone. I knew that. But I thought maybe I was exceptional. I found out that I wasn't exceptional at all. I could lose my money as fast as anybody."

He's talking about the horses and gambling, but it resonated with me in a different way. I love that phrase. A pro goes to the track alone. What does he mean? In literature, we don't know what anyone means, we only know what we think it means (apologies if I just denounced English Literature studies in one sentence.)

It got me thinking about what it takes to make it in the film industry. I remember a big day for me: the day I decided to go to the cinema on my own for the first time. I know people who would never do that, because they'd feel like a social outcast. But if you're gonna direct or write or act, you need to go to the cinema on your own every chance you get. Because that's YOU, up on the screen. That's what you're about, it's what you're after, it's where you're going. The more you're there, the more you understand it. The more you get closer to who you are, the more you become a kid in the front row. 

Just to clarify, I'm not talking about doing everything yourself. Because you can't get anywhere without collaboration in this industry. I'm talking about an attitude. About getting up and saying "This is what I do! This is who I am!", and so often when you do that you have to stand alone, at least at first. 

Ahhh but you know, as I write this blog I feel the meaning slipping away from me. A pro goes to the track alone. The sentence means something to me that I can't put into words. When I do, it gets diluted. 

I think I'm talking about the focus that Ayrton Senna had to be a racing driver. Or the dedication that David Beckham had to stay after training when everyone else had gone home. There are certain things you have to do after everyone else has left the building. That's what defines you. When people leave the studio, you stay to work on the track for another hour. When everyone else is poking on Facebook, you're refining your script.

"The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is I'm not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be out-worked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me. But if we get on the treadmill together, there's two things: You're getting off first, or I'm going to die. It's really that simple, right?"

-Will Smith

Come to think of it, the meaning of the line and where it has led me are completely different, but I'm happy with that. I'm more interested in the journey, in the associations rather than the actual definitions. That's why they told me I wouldn't be a writer in school, that's why I sucked when it came to my studies, because I didn't agree with the rules. 

I was in a lecture once and they started analysing a Chaplin film, saying that the way he walked across the bridge and approached a girl was symbolic or a metaphor or some nonsense. I told the lecturer that he was full of shit and ruining what I loved about films. I never studied films again, at least not in an academic setting. 

So I went to the track alone. 

And I'm enjoying the journey. 

If you want to be a pro, you have to do it your own way. 

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