Monday, 16 April 2012

London Falling

1940, East London. Helen was in the cinema. She had no trouble sinking into the story. The alternative was to think about life, which was unbearable.

Roger kept watch over the skies. Was amazing how such a peaceful nighttime sky could so quickly turn into a screaming nightmare.


The siren was always frightening. The darkness bone chilling. Sometimes she wouldn't get out of the cinema. A pitch black theatre of dreams, an escapists paradise, five seconds away from smithereens. 

Roger couldn't understand it. Why did his wife choose the cinema over safety? He'd seen what rained from the skies every night. It wasn't human. It wasn't of this earth. He wanted Helen locked in a safe dungeon far underground for the next few years.

Every morning, Helen would look out of the bedroom window, just to make sure her favourite building was still standing. No-one on the wireless or in the skies was making any sense, but the cinema was golden.

Roger received the information. London was on lock down. Helen was at the movies, where everything was singing and dancing. The town went silent and dark. Black objects appeared like ghosts in the distant sky.

Roger sensed it. He left his post and sprinted. There was going to be a hit, and it wasn't going to be pleasant.

Helen stared at the screen, fully aware of how life is magical yet impossible.

Then it went stone dark.

From inside she heard the rumble rumble crumble of London, and everything got closer. There was going to be a hit, she knew it.

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THE CABIN IN THE WOODS

I would have seen it anyway, because Bradley Whitford is in it, and I think he's amazing. But I guess the main reason I saw it is that I bought into the hype, and the reviews have been so positive. But y'know, I didn't really love if much, if at all.


It was clever; I'll give it that. An intriguing and amusing concept. It felt like an intellectual achievement to me, I could appreciate the story, the twists and the uniqueness of it, but it didn't sustain my interest.

I can't be too critical, because the film is probably great, like people are saying, it just wasn't for me. I'm not the right audience. Don't you hate that? When you realise everyone is having a good time, but you're praying that there are only 7 minutes left when there's still 50 to go.

It's been a long time since I've been this underwhelmed by anything with either Bradley Whitford or Richard Jenkins.


So what's my problem? Why wasn't I engaged? Maybe it's the fact they were parodying genre conventions. I'm not a genre person at the best of times. As soon as something is cornered into a specific genre, I start to yawn. The film didn't have any truth to it, it didn't have anything you could latch onto and care about. I need that. I always need that. Even if it's just one monster with a bit of humanity, or one main character who remotely resembles someone you know in even the tiniest way.

I need to feel connected.

With 'The Cabin In The Woods' we have the genre stuff, and the clever ideas, but why do we care? This has always been a problem for me. I have friends who LOVE bad horror movies. I mean the really bad ones. The ones with titles like 'Attack of the Killer Clones of Cairo 2: The Pharoahs Steal The Banana People'. They love it, but I have no interest at all! I don't find concept, or parody, or silliness particularly exciting. It needs a beating heart behind it.

I'm not averse to weird shit. 'Bubba Ho-Tep' is one of my favourite movies, and that's a flick about Elvis Presley and a black-JFK battling an ancient Egyptian mummy.


'The Cabin In The Woods' didn't, at any point, GRAB me. I always felt a distance.

I'm mostly sitting on the fence here and saying 'hey, I'm sure it's good but it's just not for me'. But actually, when I really think about it; I think I'm gonna say that no, I don't think it's a very good film. I think most of the good press has just been hype. This isn't a film that will last.

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Sunday, 15 April 2012

Lesson Of The Day: Longevity

MARC MARON: So when did you start doing the--

MICHAEL CERA: Acting? I started when I was 9. I've been doing it 14 years.

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Saturday, 14 April 2012

DEREK - Pilot Episode Review

It's magnificent!


And I always think Ricky Gervais is magnificent, but I forget every time. There's a huge anti-Gervais bandwagon that is so strong and dominant that you can't help but be influenced by it, your mind gets turned.

But then you look at the work, and you get blown away. 'The Office' was a masterpiece. 'Extras' was great fun, and 'Cemetery Junction' was subtle and wonderful.

The problem with 'The Office' was that it was TOO successful. Filmmakers couldn't have any scenes set in offices for the next ten years, because everyone would say "You're ripping off that Gervais show!". What I love about "Derek", is that it's kind of similar to "The Office". You can feel it's the same writer/director (not forgetting he co-created 'The Office' with Stephen Merchant).

When Gervais ridicules people at awards shows and can't shut his mouth in the media -- you think that's all he is; this outspoken egotistical comedian.

But he has a bit of genius about him. And most of that reputation is media nonsense.

"Derek" is beautiful. His character is fascinating, complex, hilarious, and more than a bit sad. I don't have a clue who Kerry Godliman is, but she absolutely broke my heart in this pilot. So subtle, so honest, so real. And the scenes with the 'gay' guy were incredibly heartfelt and romantic. Reminded me so much of Tim & Dawn in 'The Office', especially those scenes at the Christmas Party, you remember those? So REAL. Ricky Gervais has a way of filling your heart up full; yet we always seem to doubt him, why?


They're saying this show could end his career? They could be right, but only because he may have trouble topping it. It's 'The Office' but with ten more years experience. And they say it takes ten years to become an expert. But he was already one when he made his first show. Now, he's approaching mastery.

Not everyone was sold by the first episode of 'Derek', but that's fine! Ricky Gervais is like Woody Allen and Larry David; a hilarious guy who is after expertise, after doing things from the heart. What matters to him is that he NAILS it. He'll always have an audience. And not because he's a celebrity, but because he's an artist. I'm in it for the long haul, wherever he goes. I'm looking forward to seeing where 'Derek' takes us.

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Your Kid In The Front Row Reading Habits

I'm intrigued! Are you a regular? Is it your first time here? Do you have it bookmarked? Or do you subscribe by email? Or do you only read articles when you see my tweets or Facebook links?

Do you have a certain time of day you like to read the blog? Do you have certain types of articles that you prefer over others? Does the title of the article influence whether you'll read it?

Would love to know more about how you got here, why you're here, and how you read!

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