The Special Relationship

JEN

We have a special relationship.

TOM

How do you mean?

JEN

Creatively.

TOM

Which means what?

JEN

You should cast me in your movies.

TOM

Oh okay.

JEN

You don't think so?

TOM

What is special about it?

JEN

We have a connection, like, a special understanding.

TOM

So I should cast you in my movies?

JEN

Yes.

TOM

And what will you do for me?

JEN

Act in them.

TOM

That's very nice of you.

JEN

But it is a special relationship. Don't forget I introduced you to that guy at the BBC.

TOM

So what?

JEN

So you should put me in your movies.

TOM

There are also many other actors.

JEN

But they don't understand you like I do.

TOM

Back in the old days; women used to sleep with directors to get a role, now all we get is an insincere compliment.

JEN

That's really hurtful. Don't you believe me?

TOM

As an actor? It's a little forced, if I'm honest.

JEN

How can you say something like that to me?

TOM

I can say anything I want.

JEN

Why?

TOM

Because we have a special relationship.

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Reflecting on ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

All we have is our memories. They're all we can really base anything on. I guess we have the current moment, and that's pretty cool. But you can't help but be shaped by what came before. So what if you really could erase it; wipe out someone you used to love? I think what makes it an appealing thing is not so much removing someone's face from your memory, it's removing all the marks they left. All the crap that comes up every time you meet someone new. Know what I mean?

'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' is one of the greatest films ever. I am saying that now, at this moment, only minutes after watching the film again. If calling it 'one of the greatest films ever' is ridiculous, then it's ridiculous and so be it. But right now, in this moment, I'm in love with it. I have not had an experience like this with a film in quite a long time.

The film is about memories. It's funny because -- I'm not sure how well I know this film. I'm not sure how many times I've seen it and how much I enjoyed it in the past. Watching it just now was great, because it was a very fresh experience.

There's genius in this film in so many ways. Charlie Kaufman's script is mind-blowing. How did he write this? When you add films like 'Adaptation' and 'Being John Malkovich' to the list, it's incredible. Kaufman seems to have access to his whole brain -- he knows how to utilise it. 'Eternal Sunshine..' is so powerful for exactly that reason -- we feel like we're going through a journey in our own brains.

You have to credit the director, Michel Gondry, and the director of photography Ellen Kuras. In a remarkably accurate way they have brought to life the inner workings of the mind --- the dreams, the nightmares, the memories. It's so haunting, so real.

And then there's Kate and Carrey. What can you say about them? I don't know if I realised the first time I saw this movie -- but Jim Carrey's performance is perfect. But not perfect in any way you could teach. I don't think you could extract it and bottle it and learn from it. You just have to watch him and be in awe of it -- because he's just amazing. From the first moment, you're sold. Kate Winslet is probably just as good, but you can't help but be a little conscious of the fact it's Kate Winslet with weird coloured hair in the opening scenes. It takes a while to adjust.

The thing about movie stars is that it's very hard to detach from who they really are when you see them on screen. Or more accurately, it's hard to detach from what we project onto them, how we view them. But in the opening scenes, Carrey and Winslet are so REAL. They're like me and you. Just a man and a woman. They're vulnerable, awkward, and you just feel it. These are two performances that really earned their salaries. This is why we love the cinema and movie stars. Sometimes they really can reach these levels.

And then there's the editing, by Valdís Óskarsdóttir. It's seamless. The thing that's so difficult about mind-fuck films like this one, is that it's so easy to get lost -- to be jolted into confusion. In 'Eternal Sunshine..', the moments where we do get confused are intentional, and get resolved later on. There's an art to what Óskarsdóttir achieved. There are times in the second half of the movie when we're being taken on a journey through Joel's (Carrey) subconscious mind -- as he dashes in and out of numerous memories, yet at the same times we cut back into the Clementine/Patrick storyline (Winslet/Wood), and the Dr. Mierzwiak/Mary storyline (Wilkinson/Dunst) and it's miraculous that it all makes sense. That's the power of great editing. If you compare it to films like 'Donnie Darko' and 'Vanilla Sky', I think there's a level of brilliance to this film that those ones lack. And it comes down to how all the elements mentioned in this article were handled. 

The film had a strange effect on me tonight. It got me thinking about my memories. How many of them are rigid and built to last? Maybe not that many. In fact, some stories I could recount perfectly two years ago, now somehow sink into insignificance. It's weird what time does. The erasing of former lovers is something that, weirdly, kind of happens in real life too. The pain goes away, the specifics evaporate. We get left with the feelings. Sometimes they're beautiful and poignant, other times they leave us bitter and resentful. So what to do with all of these memories? 

I know precisely what I want to do with them: I want to create a lot more of them. 

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Vulnerability

I still find writing extremely scary.



The blog has always been my safe haven. I always feel pretty free to write stuff here of varying quality, without thinking too much about it.



But still; so much of what I write is met with stone silence, and it's SCARY! Late on Monday night I posted a short story called "London Falling". Days went by, there were no comments, no emails, no friends saying 'hey I really liked it'. Absolutely nothing.



The immediate inclination is to delete the story, because it must be awful. But I always try to leave everything standing. I like to show all sides of creativity, the good stuff and the bad. So the bad stories stay, as much pain as they cause me.

Today, nearly three days later, there's a comment on the story. PAUL S has thrown it a lifeline.



"I'm bemused by the lack of response to writing of this quality. This piece is beautiful, moving and macabre; and I for one want to thank you for sharing it."



Amazing how a tiny comment by someone, anyone, can make all the difference to your state of mind and how you feel about yourself as an artist. You always kid yourself into thinking you can just write anytime you want without caring about people's feedback, but you need it.

GREAT material gets comments, and it gets shared. And if it's really great, it goes viral. Everything else just kind of sinks into the internet. Another page of semi-interesting nonsense that will capture a few, but hardly anybody.

Luckily, occasionally, a piece resonates; as this one did with Paul S. You find yourself with a little bit more fuel - someone likes what you do, and you know you'll write again.

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5 Things I hate about the cinema

1. When you tell the dude you want medium popcorn, and he holds up a huge extra large bag and says it's only 40p (or cents) extra. You check the maths, and your appetite, and feel forced to oblige. But you know he's scamming you somehow. This is one of the great cinema mysteries.

2. The one hour staff walk-in. Halfway through the movie, a cinema worker has a break. Rather than go for a cigarette, they gatecrash your movie. You see them hovering at the back and it totally distracts you from the flick.

3. Audience dumbness. The audio is too low, or the frame has accidentally fallen so that Brad Pitt's face is being projected onto the first three rows, and the audience don't give a shit! They sit there gormlessly. WTF?

4. BlackBerry owners. FUCK YOU.

5. When you have a clear row fully to your left and right, and a clear view ahead, and then someone comes in after 7 minutes, cutting off the lower part of the frame because they sit in front of you with their weird fuzzy hair.

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AARON SORKIN on ARTIFICIAL INSPIRATION

"Sometimes you have to create artificial inspiration. Put music on, do something, go on a date. Get on a bicycle. If you're a writer, not writing is the worst feeling in the world, so do something."

-Sorkin

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