3 Cinema Issues

The phone people.

Why do they pay all that money, just to sit in a dark room surfing Facebook? They could just go into their bedrooms, turn off the lights, and the same thing would be achieved. Why do they bother venturing out to the cinema? Most of them don't even notice there's a movie on.

The whispering.

I'd rather they SHOUT! The whispering makes me want to literally rip my head off and throw it at them.

The man with the bald head.

He always sits two rows in front of you. He blocks your view (especially if you want to watch the movie). You can try move seats, but he always ends up in front of you.

And there's something about a bald head that attracts your attention. You keep glancing at it every five seconds, as if one of the film's characters will appear on it to deliver an important line of dialogue.

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EMILY BLUNT / JASON SEGEL / MARK & JAY DUPLASS / LYNN SHELTON: The Modern Formula For Making Great Movies

Mark and Jay Duplass make fantastic, extremely low-budget movies.

Mark Duplass is also a great actor.

Emily Blunt and Jason Segel are movie stars. But they don't just turn up for the pay cheque, they're committed to doing great work. They've both been known to turn down jobs that would have given them more money.

The Duplass brothers need stars like Segel and Blunt. And the stars want to work with the Duplass brothers, because they know they'll get to do their best acting. 

The first movie that the Duplass brothers made was "THE PUFFY CHAIR", which they shot for only $15,000. It was a big hit at film festivals and got everyone paying attention to them. Actually, they made another movie before that but locked it away in the vault because it was so bad. I tell you this just to remind you not to worry about your own atrocious projects, it happens to everyone. Anyway; Mark Duplass starred in  "THE PUFFY CHAIR", and he was great.

But Duplass is not a movie star. So to get funded by the studios, they need bigger names. That's how they made 'CYRUS', because Jonah Hill and John C. Reilly wanted to work with with them.

This year, the Duplass brothers released "JEFF WHO LIVES AT HOME". They got the funding because Jason Segel and Ed Helms wanted to work with them. Why? Because the quality of their work is so good. Big actors crave it.

Mark Duplass didn't act in that film but he did act in 'YOUR SISTER'S SISTER', which he also executive produced. It was written and directed by the very talented Lynn Shelton. But how did the film get in cinemas? Because Emily Blunt starred in it. That's why it's faring much better than Shelton's previous film 'HUMPDAY' (which also stars Duplass), because it has a recognisable names in it.

Emily Blunt is having a great year - and with her recent roles, you really feel like you're getting to know her. 'YOUR SISTER'S SISTER' is a wonderfully subtle and engaging film --one of my favourites of the year. Blunt also put in a great performance in 'Salmon Fishing In Yemen', alongside Ewan MacGregor (who is another actor who craves the great material rather than the fame).

'THE FIVE-YEAR ENGAGEMENT' is a film that stars Emily Blunt and Jason Segel. Is it any good? It's okay. Segel co-wrote the script (as he did on 'FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL' and 'GET HIM TO THE GREEK'). The movie is fun, and it's doing okay at the box-office. It's watchable, mostly because of the two lead actors - they're very endearing and loveable. Yet despite the big-budget and broad comedy stylings:

They do their best work elsewhere.

And their best work this year has involved the Duplasses.

Mark & Jay Duplass make movies very cheaply. They trade the bigger budgets for smaller ones where they can have more creative control. Actors want to work with them -- it's the same as how it has worked with Woody Allen all these years. The films are done so cheaply that it's almost impossible for them to fail financially. If the flicks are good, word of mouth will get people seeing them. And even if they suck, the names will carry enough star-power to bump up DVD sales.

This is how it works in the modern era. You can desperately try to get on the Hollywood ladder, but you'll probably get chewed up. And even if you make it, your films will be bland, just like all the others.

The Duplass Brothers are doing it their own way. So is Lynn Shelton. They've gotten so good at what they do, that the stars are desperate to work with them. Where else would Susan Sarandon get to do as great a role as she did in 'JEFF WHO LIVES AT HOME'? And who else would bring the subtlety out of Ed Helms that that the Duplass' bros did?

The ones who stay true to themselves and actually have something to say are succeeding. That's why 'LOUIE', created by Louis CK, is such a great show. Same goes for 'GIRLS', created by Lena Dunham. The people who stay true to themselves are creating the most interesting work. And the good part is -- this will sustain them for the rest of their careers. Because what they're creating is INTERESTING! And their fanbase is only going in one direction - up! Same goes for Segel and Blunt, we're interested! We're along for the ride, because they're all about the great work. 

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The Song

I have a song that's in my head, but not quite. I heard it in a film a few days ago, or maybe it was on T.V. It kind of sounded like Jackson Browne or maybe Paul Simon but I'm not sure. Maybe it was a woman.

It's not a new song, it's something I've heard before. I definitely recognised the lyrics, but now I can't remember them. I can't remember the lyrics and I can't remember the voice, but I really want to hear the song again. Does anyone have any idea what it might have been?

The song was about going somewhere. Or maybe it was about coming back. Actually I think maybe it was about being in a place but wanting to leave. Or maybe he wanted to stay. Or it could be that he was going somewhere but wanted to stay at home on the sofa.

It was quite a profound song. It suited the scene it was in on T.V. It must have been a small indie film, as the character's left on a journey. Or was it a big blockbuster and they used it during a calm moment after a big explosion?

It's fun when you get a good song stuck in your head, but it's horrible when a bad song is lodged in there. So you can understand my frustration -- having a song taking over my brain which is neither good nor bad, because I can't remember what it is or what it sounds like. 

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RIP NORA EPHRON - You Are a True Hero Of Mine

"So I have to face the facts - I need to stand up proudly and say: I LOVE NORA EPHRON."

-KITFR, January 2010. 

I didn't see this one coming.

Nora Ephron has had a bigger influence on me than nearly anyone else in the industry. I grew up watching her movies. She was the first writer/director who I sought out film after film. I just loved everything she did.

I have watched 'You've Got Mail' more than any other film.

And 'Sleepless in Seattle' is responsible for what has become a lifelong love for the romantic comedy.

You see, guys aren't meant to like the rom-coms. We're meant to disregard the chick flicks. But Ephron was able to transcend that; at least for me and a lot of guys that I know.

In the modern era, films have become awfully dark and cynical. It's remarkable whenever someone can make something that blooms like a flower and makes your day a little better.

The first time I went to New York, I visited for a week. I spent the whole time at 'You've Got Mail' locations. I was staying with my friend Jenna, and I'd say "come meet me at Cafe Lalo!". I was obsessed.

'Hanging Up' is such a poignant tale about life and death. It's one of the all-time great Walter Matthau performances. He died months after filming it. Will be even more touching to watch this film now, knowing that we've lost Nora.

I can't believe it. I'm genuinely stunned. She was always the picture of health. A beautiful woman with a giant heart and a romantic soul that is so extremely rare, and completely irreplaceable.

'When Harry Met Sally' changed the rom-com forever.

And I'm glad that we have 'Julie & Julia', because it's a very sweet film, and absolutely devoid of cynicism. It has a big beating heart and makes you want to suddenly learn how to be a masterful cook. I don't think there is any other writer/director in the industry who could get me interested in cooking.

Norah's writing was magical. I have spent so much of my time reading her books, hunting down all her articles; anything I can get my hands on, because there's just something in the words, something in the rhythm, it was just a DELIGHT! It's like she painted all the words delicately with a paintbrush. But a magical paintbrush, that only she knew how to use. I can't explain. If you're a fan, you'll know what I mean.

'The screenplay is the big plain pizza, the one with tomatoes and cheese. And then the director comes in and says "you know, it's needs mushrooms." And you put mushrooms on it, and the costume designer throws peppers on. And pretty soon you have a pizza with everything. Sometimes it's the greatest pizza of your life and sometimes you think 'that was a mistake, we should have left it with only the mushrooms.'

-Nora Ephron

Nora Ephron was the mushrooms. We lost a great one. We will miss you. 

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VUE CINEMAS: UK chain's Online Marketing Strategy Manipulates Film Bloggers

So you get an email from VUE CINEMAS, one of the biggest cinema chains in the country. And they want to publish an article on your blog. Amazing, right? Maybe you've finally made it as a blogger? 

Unfortunately, no, this isn't the case. They're using you in a rather cynical way. 

Companies used to pay for advertising. That was the old way, back when things were in print. Now they manipulate people online, for free.

What you might not realise about your blog, is how valuable it is, and how much Google likes what you're doing. The more you play by the rules, the higher up in the rankings you'll get, which means that more people will discover your writing. 

These things improve naturally based on: the amount of years you've been blogging, the quality and relevance of your content, and the amount of people who link to your website. 

Most bloggers have been approached by companies. Often they're mid-size companies that have nothing to do with your content. Like a life insurance company offering you $85 to link to their site. That's a choice you have to make -- do you need the money that badly? Is it worth compromising your site? When Google spots your film website linking to a life insurance website in every article, they know you're not playing the game right, and you'll soon find yourself disappearing from Google searches. 

Vue Cinema are playing a very clever game. They're approaching bloggers and film websites with the promise of 'good content', in exchange for you linking to their website. However; this is purely a selfish act on their part; gaining links to their product, their website.

When people link to them; two things happen. 1) They eventually climb higher in the rankings, taking over their competitors. 2) Your site sinks down the rankings, because you're diluting your site's ranking by branching out to them. 

You get nothing from this - and Myvue.com gets everything. Why does it matter, you ask? When enough bloggers and websites do what they want, they make hundreds of thousands in extra revenue. You get nothing, just a lousy and irrelevant article on your website. 

PENNY LANE 

Maybe it is love, as much as it can be, for somebody--

WILLIAM MILLER

Somebody who sold you to Humble Pie for fifty bucks and a case of beer! I was there! I was there!

I was just about to share the email conversation that I had with the Vue team, who tried to get me in on this scam. But I just read the privacy notice at the end of the email, apparently if I share the content, I may be breaking laws. How convenient! But in my last email back to them, I wrote; "I'm happy to interview you on the website about how you think you are contributing good content to the net and film blogosphere. Shall we do it? Will be a good platform for you to present Vue and their brand through being open about your practices." 

I got no response. 

The film blog community has a great history of supporting itself, linking to great articles and to friends we make along the way. Keep it that way. Your website is important to people and it's valuable. Don't do the corporations any favours, they're doing nothing for you. 

This article was NOT brought to you by Vue Entertainment. 

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