What the hell does quirky mean anyway?

Wanted: Quirky writer. Quirky actress. Quirky ideas. Quirky blogger. What the hell is quirky anyway? I swear I know fifty identical 25 year old brunette actresses who all style themselves as unique due to 'quirkiness'.

What does it mean when they say they're quirky -- that they're slightly annoying? That they sip green tea? That they watch 'Garden State'? I have no idea.

You see it in casting calls all the time. They don't want normal, they want QUIRKY!

I'm not immune. "We like your writing, it's quirky", they say. What the hell? If everyone is so damn quirky what is so unique about it?

People are so proud of it, too. They say "I'm sorry, I'm a bit quirky like that," and then smile as if they're a direct descendant of God.

I guess that's why I'm so resistant to being labelled 'quirky', because the quirky people are mostly annoying and self-important. The men think it means they're going to win Sundance, and the women think they're Zooey Deschanel.

Have you ever witnessed someone calling themselves quirky? It usually happens after they do something dull and boring, like smile awkwardly or deliver a joke badly. They fix their eyes on you and speak of their quirkiness.

A message to the quirky people: you're as dull and boring as the rest of us, just slightly more annoying. Snap out of it.

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The Olympics

I love seeing people achieve amazing things. With the Olympics, we get to see people from all around the world pushing themselves to their very limits and beyond. 

It's great seeing how much it means to them. All the years of hard work and dedication. They could have been out drinking or sitting around on the internet but instead they dedicated their lives to their calling, to seeing their talents through to the point of perfection. 

Films aren't holding my interest right now - it is all about London 2012.

Let's catch up after the Olympics. See you in a week!

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Vivid Memories

I just had a memory.

It's of a time when I was sitting in my room, in my favourite town, in my favourite country. I was listening to my favourite film score; which was never released officially but the composer gave me a sneaky copy.  It's probably the thing I listen to more than anything.

I sat there listening to my favourite music in the world looking out on the greatest city in the world -- and I wrote. And wrote, and wrote. Sometimes the music gets right inside of you; it becomes a part of you, and you feel completely at one with the world. I got a phone call from a journalist who was doing a piece on me. Usually those things can make me nervous - what if I say something stupid? But it went perfectly, because I was just so so so in the right frame of everything.

I don't know how it happens. Maybe it's part of your DNA or maybe it's because of some TV show you saw when you were young -- but we all have a spiritual home. A place where we feel ourselves. A place where the writing flows and everything aligns perfectly.

I am excited by the fact that: I'll be going back there soon.

And even if I wasn't, I could close my eyes and listen to this beautiful track. I wish I could write a script that sounds like this music - I wish I could capture me as well as this music does. For now, all I can do, is dream of getting back to my home away from home.

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Bring The Enthusiasm!

I know it's frustrating. I know you're not getting paid much. I know you nearly had a big break until it fell apart at the last minute. I know that happened to you eight times and now you're extremely tired.

But don't let your enthusiasm disappear.

Because it's EVERYTHING!

Enthusiasm has been marginalised in the creative fields. Everyone is moaning about the horrible people and bitching about how things didn't work out.

And sure, we all need to vent.

But then you pick yourself up, you go again.

Enjoy it.

Enjoy this whole process -- the failings, the struggles, the tiny victories.

Enthusiasm will get you where you're going quicker. And people will gravitate towards you.

Those emails full of tension and meetings full of awkwardness, they're no good! All the self doubt that makes you delay the phone call, avoid the Skype call and disregard the opportunity - they're killing you!

You have an audition or an interview or a chance to show your work? Go for it! You've earned it! You are you, this is your work and it's where you're at right now. Don't be ashamed of it, be enthusiastic about it!

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KRISTEN STEWART & ROBERT PATTINSON

Important update: Kristen Stewart has moved in with Jodie Foster. Robert Pattinson has moved in with Reese Witherspoon. Reese Witherspoon has moved in with Johnny Cash and Jodie Foster has moved into the spare room.

Why does anyone care? People cheat on people all the time. Kristen Stewart is no worse that Shelly who lives down the road from me and cheated on her husband of fourteen years with a man called Bill. Is Kristen Stewart evil? No, she's just an actress. Does it matter that Pattinson moved in with Reese Witherspoon? Not at all. My neighbour Shelly moved in with Andrea Fleck, who works in the local Pizza Hut. What's the big deal?

Oh no, wait a minute -- will this ruin the promotion of the new Twilight movie? No, it won't. It's part of their job, to go out on the road and say 'Oh my God it was so great working with these wonderful people and the complexity of this movie made it something really special'. They'll be fine. Are you telling me you've never worked with someone long after they hated you because you're an asshole?

Will Robert Pattinson forgive her? I'm still pissed at the way Kristen treated Jesse Eisenberg in the movie 'Adventureland', but we have to move on. If he does forgive her, they'll get back together. If he doesn't, he'll date another hottie who will turn out to be the love of his life. That's how it goes.

They're just like all the people you know who cheated on all the other people you know. The only difference is they're rich, and one of them is a vampire. There are far more important things happening in the world, like the plight of Katie Holmes and the latest season of 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians'.

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